


One Moment Can Change a Lifetime

by CSmith2105



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Love Triangles, Nudity, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-05-07 03:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 40,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14662044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSmith2105/pseuds/CSmith2105
Summary: Jodie Barrett is an aspiring actress who lives an ordinary life, trying to get by with the occasional project and working shifts at a cafe. It all changes when she meets two people but who will she choose?





	1. Chapter 1

“Jodie, could you give us a hand over here?” My co-worker Harry asked. I was working another shift in my mundane café job. It’s something to earn money whilst trying to get my acting career rolling after just finishing University.

“Yeah sure.” I responded. Oftentimes, we got quite busy in the café. Today was one of those times. I helped Harry serve what seemed to be an endless queue. In case you’re wondering, the café I work at is called ‘Tranquil Flower Café’ in London. I’d been working here 3 years now with the same boring routine every day. I just wish something would change, make my life more exciting. I’m 24 and lead one of the most boring lives. I’d had a few roles whilst working here but it hasn’t changed anything. If it had, I wouldn’t be here. It’s a nice job and I get along with my co-workers well but it can get a little repetitive. It’ll do.

“Hey, I’ve just got to nip to the office for a moment. You alright serving these last few on your own?”

“Yeah, it’s cool.”

“Thanks.” Harry smiled.

I’d served a couple more customers but then I heard a voice I recognised. It took me a moment and then I realised. Everyone knows the man this voice belongs to. The deep baritone. I looked up from the till and there he was stood inches away. Benedict Cumberbatch. He was tall, lean but slightly muscular, had dark hair and was wearing a tight white shirt with black trousers. Damn, he is handsome. Beside him, his friend Tom Hiddleston. I’d had a crush on Benedict for a while. He was my inspiration for pursuing acting. I tried to remain calm.

“Hey, what can I get you?” I smiled.

“Two latte’s please.” He smiled back, holding eye contact.

“Coming up, are you staying in or taking away?”

“Staying in.” Benedict replied. I nodded

“It’s an honour to have you both in our café.” I told them whilst making their coffee’s

“Thank you.” Responded Tom.

“£4.50 please.” I said.

“Thanks, here you go.” Benedict replied, giving me the money. It was rather surreal that I had just served Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston coffee. Although, let’s be honest, I’m not the only one. I’d served a couple more customers when Benedict came over again, alone this time.

“This is for you.” He smiled, handing me £2 in tips.

“Aw, thank you.” I said and popped it into the jar.

“Where are my manners? I don’t even know your name.”

“Jodie Barrett.” I replied

“That’s a beautiful name. I’m Benedict Cumberbatch”

“I know.” I laughed.

“Listen, I’d love to get to know you a little more Jodie. If you’re alright with that?” Is he asking me on a date? He barely knows me. Ah well, who am I to complain?

“Yeah, sounds good.” I chirped happily.

“Awesome, may I have your number so I contact you to arrange something?”

“Sure, here you go.” I wrote it down and handed it to him. Is he always this forward?

“Thanks, I’ll message you.” He said. I couldn’t help but notice he seemed rather happy.

“Hey, what you up to Cumberbatch?” Asked Tom who had just walked up to the counter.

“Nothing.” He laughed.

“Well come on you.” Tom laughed back and rolled his eyes.

“I’m coming! See you later Jodie!” He smiled. Oh my God! What had just happened finally sunk in. I’d been asked on a date by Benedict Cumberbatch. 

Harry came back and must’ve seen I had a smile plastered on my face.

“You seem happy.” He laughed. Out of all my workmates, I was closest to Harry so I thought I may as well tell him. I could trust him.

“Well, I don’t know if you saw but Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston have just been in.”

“Oh my! Really?”

“Yeah and it gets better. Benedict asked me on a date.”

“You lucky girl! I’m happy for you!” He smiled.

“Thanks Harry.” I finished my last 30 minutes of my shift and headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie is invited out on a date by Benedict and she gladly accepts.

“So a date with Benedict Cumberbatch? Lucky girl.” Said my best friend Holly Burton who was sat opposite me in my flat’s living room. It was nice enough, my flat. I used the money from projects to do it up a little.

“Indeed.” I smiled. My phone buzzed at that moment. Unknown number

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Unknown  
Hey, it’s Benedict. Fancy a couple of drinks later? 7 pm alright? I’ll pick you up if you send me your address.  
See you later, hopefully ;-)  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Such a charmer.

“Speak of the devil. He’s gonna pick me up at 7 for a few drinks.” I saved his number.

“Damn, that was fast. He’s an eager one.” We both laughed.

“Well, it’s 6 now so best get ready.” I said.

“I’ll help!” Holly replied. Best text him back. That’s the most important thing, actually letting him know I’m coming.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Benedict  
Hello, you were fast haha! Yeah 7 is fine so I’ll see you later. Address Flat 11, Acorn Apartments, Ivory Crescent, Camden, London.  
See you soon.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

There we go, hopefully he finds me.

“Come on then, let’s get you ready.” We headed into my bedroom and Holly went through my wardrobe. She found a light blue, off the shoulder dress which went just above the knees and paired it with matching heels. She curled my shoulder-length, brown hair and finished me off with some red lipstick and silvery eye-shadow and a few sprays of ‘Black Opium’ and I was ready to go. I grabbed a small black shoulder bag and packed my make up and perfume if I ever need a re-spray or touch up. I have to admit, I look pretty good.

"You’ve done a wonderful job, thank you Holly.”

"No problem.” She smiled.

"Right, I’ll head off before he gets here. See you later and good luck.” She hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, see you later.” With that she left. 6:58. He should be here soon. I’m ever so slightly nervous as he is a star but I just need to play it cool and I’ll be fine. Ah, there’s the buzz. He’s a little early, damn he is eager. I went over to the phone near the door and picked it up. 

“Hi.” I said, almost sounding overly excited.

“Hey, it’s Benedict.” He replied.

“Come up.” I buzzed him in and within moments there was a knock. I opened up.

“Hello!” He said, pulling me into an embrace. “Nice to see you."

“Likewise.” I like him already. His voice lowered and his eyes met mine.

“You look incredibly beautiful.”

“Thank you, you look rather excellent yourself.” I wasn’t wrong. Fitted grey suit, black shirt and shoes. It was definitely working for me. His cologne smelled brilliant too. His brown hair swept into a parting. I could fuck him right where he stood. I wanted to. But I can’t.

“Thank you, shall we be off?” And he offered me his arm. I accepted and he lead me out to his car. A red Audi A8. Black leather interior. Very nice. He opened the passenger seat door for me and I sat myself inside. 

“You’re such a gentleman.” I laughed. He smiled back as he strapped himself in. His elegant hands took control of the wheel and we were off. We chatted casually along the way. 

“Benedict, I’m looking forward to ‘Patrick Melrose’ it looks excellent” I said. Of course I wasn’t lying either. I’ve been waiting for months. It’s on tomorrow, I’m recording it.

“Why, thank you.” He seemed genuinely happy with what I’d said. 

“Oh and Ben please.”

“Alright, Ben.” I laughed. He jokingly rolled his eyes at my silliness. We arrived at ‘Phoenix Cocktail Bar’ and headed inside. It was rather fancy. Ben is really going all out to impress me isn’t he? We sat at a table and we were handed a list and a member of staff came over. 

“What you drinking?” He enquired.

“I’ll have a Martini please.”

“Two Martini’s please.” He said to the staff member. 

“Certainly sir.” He replied and headed off.

“It’s nice in here.” I commented. The room was dimly lit creating a nice atmosphere. There were wooden tables with red and black chairs around them. Some had red sofas. It was a nice modern feel. Our drinks came and we sipped on them as we chatted. 

“So tell me about yourself.” Benedict said, smiling at me. His smile always hooks me in. Benedict looks so good. The light highlighted those beautiful cheekbones and his light blue eyes stared into my own green ones. I felt hypnotised just looking into them. I always hated this conversation on a date, talking about me. I sound boring.

“Hmmm? What can I tell you to avoid boring you to death?” He laughed at my comment. 

“Well, as you know I currently work in a café. I use it to get by whilst doing a few acting jobs and here and there. It helps pay the bills when I have no projects.” 

“You’re an actress?” He seemed intrigued.

“Yes, well, aspiring one yes.” I replied.

“What have you worked in?”

“I’ve done a bit of everything. TV, film, theatre. I was in ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ last month.”

“Oh, really? National Theatre?”

“Yes.” I responded.

“I saw it, you were wonderful. I should’ve recognised you when I saw you.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind.” I couldn’t help but feel elated and I couldn’t stop beaming either. He saw me in a piece of theatre and enjoyed it. I’m exceedingly happy. Over the course of the next few hours, we drank, joked and enjoyed each other’s company. We get along really well and I like him. I think he likes me too but I’m not sure yet. By 11, we were intoxicated by cocktails. Well, he was, I was still a little sober.  


“Hey.” He slurred. 

“You wanna come to mine, hang out for a bit?” The only sober part of my brain that was left knew what would happen from experience. Everyone knows that two people going home together when drunk results in them sleeping together and for me, right now, that seemed like a good idea. I do like him a lot and PLUS it’s Benedict fucking Cumberbatch.

“Sure, why the hell not?” Came out of my mouth. 

“Ok, I’ll hail us a cab.” We headed outside and he flagged a cab down. Ben told the driver his address and we were off. I couldn’t help but notice he sat himself very close to me. I didn’t mind though. He sent a quick text.

“Just to my driver for him to pick my car up.” He smiled. Bless him. He didn’t want to be rude, what a gentleman. We eventually arrived at Ben’s place and he lived in a rather nice part of town. He fumbled with his keys drunkenly.

“Let me help.” I laughed. I unlocked his door for him.

“Thanks. I’m too pissed.” He laughed. It’s quite expensive looking already and we’ve only walked through the door. Of course it’s expensive here, Benedict lives here. There was a glass elevator in front of us and he gestured for me to head inside it. He pressed the button to his floor and we were taken up. He gazed at me happily so I smiled back.

“I like you.” He grinned.

“You what?” I laughed.

“I like you.” He said, sincere this time.

“Well thanks, I guess.” He chuckled at me. 

“I like you too.” He smiled at this.

“That’s good to know.” Benedict whispered. I must be special if he likes me in less than 24 hours. We began walking down the down the corridor to his flat. It was the door right at the end. He unlocked his apartment door. 

“Please, head in and get yourself comfortable.” He smiled. I sat myself on his large, L-shaped white sofa and admired the interior decoration of his apartment. On the back wall which had the glass balcony door had white wallpaper with a black zig zag pattern. Then he had two black painted side walls with a white wall which is where the door is. To the left, which is where I was facing there was the kitchen and behind me was a shut door which I assume is his bedroom. He had a bookshelf against the white wall, filled with plays. Beneath me a silvery grey rug and wooden flooring. He had a round, black glass coffee table in front of his sofa. It was a very beautiful room. He has a good eye. His laptop was on top of the table.

"It’s a beautiful room.” I said, turning to Ben who was relaxed beside me. He’d already took his jacket and shoes off. 

“You have a very good eye.”

“Why thank you.” He smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benedict and Jodie hang out at Ben's flat.

“Drink?” He asked, pulling himself into a sitting position. He was previously laid relaxed, well slouched, on his sofa. I didn’t mind though. 

“Yeah, please.” 

“Of?” He stood up. 

“Water please.” I replied. 

“Water? Really? Have a glass of wine with me.” He pleaded. 

“Fine, you’re a bad influence Cumberbatch.” I laughed. 

“Nah, you’re just easy to persuade.” He giggled. Benedict soon came back with two glasses of red and passed one to me. 

“Thank you.” I said. He sat down, wobbling on his way. Benedict spilled a little of his wine on his floor. 

“Ah, shit.” He said. 

“Back in a sec.” I couldn’t help but giggle at his intoxication. 

“What’s so funny he asked, turning around and folding his arms. 

“Nothing.” He rolled his eyes and headed into the kitchen and soon brought back a cloth. He mopped up the spillage and took the cloth back. He could finally sit back down. When he was drinking his wine, I took a moment to admire him. His profile is beautiful and his jaw line! My God it’s so well defined. His neck is it’s own piece of beauty. He turned and saw me looking at him. His perfectly shaped lips parted from his glass and his large, but gorgeous hands placed it on the table. 

“You like what you see?” He laughed. Bugger, he knew I was checking him out. May as well play it cool. 

“I certainly do.” I winked. He chuckled in reply but then gave me a look. The sort of look which you’d describe as full of lust. ‘The look’. 

“Do you like this?” He whispered. Ben cupped my face in his hand, leaned in and kissed me. Oh God! His lips are perfect. So soft, so warm. I responded immediately. I kissed him back and lost one hand in his hair and the other held his face. I was touching his cheekbones. His other arm pulled me closer and then onto his knee so I was straddling him. His tongue tickled my lips, wanting a way in and I happily accepted. He moaned as he slipped it into my mouth. I did too. I could feel tingles through every inch of my body. It was a wonderful feeling. He tapped me with his hand as a gesture to climb off him. I did and he stood up, turned to me and picked me up. My shoes fell to the floor but I didn’t care. Neither did he.

Ben carried me to his room and laid me on his bed. He began unbuttoning his shirt and I bolted up instantly to help. There was no way I was gonna pass on an opportunity to touch his body. I pushed the shirt off his broad shoulders to reveal a slightly muscly torso. His skin was so hot it was intoxicating. He quickly whipped off his socks and then pulled my dress over my head. 

“God, you have such a hot body!” He growled. That voice turned me on instantly. He dropped my dress to the floor and I backed up towards the headboard. Benedict followed instantly and climbed on top of me. His hot skin against my own was delightful. Ben started moving kisses from my lips to my jaw, to my neck which created waves of sensations in my body. He caressed and kissed my breasts and then removed my bra. 

“Those are some delightful tits you have there, Jodie.” I moaned as he took one nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it whilst simultaneously. I was already in heaven. His kisses moved down my body until he got to my centre. 

“They’re in the way.” He growled, referring to my underwear. 

“They’re coming off.” He wasn’t lying. My underwear was off in a moment. He kissed the inside of my thighs and he was so close to where I wanted him it was driving me insane. When he finally blessed my centre with his lips I couldn’t help but moan. He slipped one and then another of his long elegant fingers inside me. 

"Oh, God.” I panted. 

“You like that?” He said whilst bending his fingers to hit my spot. 

“Yes, so much. Oh God, I’m going to come!” 

“Don’t, I haven’t finished yet.” He commanded. At that moment, his fingers were removed and he took his black boxers off. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re huge!” Slipped from my mouth. My thoughts came out of my head and through my mouth. Benedict let out a sexy chuckle in reply. He positioned himself above me and then slid his large length inside me. It took me a few moments to adjust to his size but I soon was in absolute heaven feeling him move inside me. I’d always imagined he’d be good but he is bloody incredible. I dug my heels into his back and grabbed his hair. He liked it, he couldn’t make it more obvious that he liked it if he tried. A loud groan erupted from his throat. His moans were music to my ears. I squeezed his arse hard whilst gripping his hair. 

“Mmmmmm, do that again.” I did and I was rewarded with another large groan 

“You sound so good.” I breathed. “As do you.” He responded in his arousing deep voice. I could feel something inside me, something that needed to be released. Soon enough it was, I had never came so hard in my life. He made me feel like no one else ever had. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to move after this. It was now his turn. His thrusts became harder and he groaned constantly as he filled me. 

“Oh my God! Jodie!” He cried before falling on top of me, panting heavily. We both ended up falling asleep without saying another word to each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie has to take into consideration what will happen now after the night before with Benedict.

I woke the next morning quite stiff and with a massive headache, signs of a well spent night. I knew coming back with him would end like this but I’m glad it did. It most likely won’t happen again, after all he is a big star. Although, he did say he likes me. He was pissed though so it could’ve been the Martini’s speaking. I best head off before he wakes. I picked up my clothes and dressed myself. I brushed my hair and chewed on some minty gum. It’ll do till I get home. I wrote him out a little note: 

‘Benedict,  
Thank you for last night. I had a lot of fun and you were great company and a laugh.  
See you around,  
Jodie' 

I was very sceptical about the ‘see you around’ part. For all I know, I might not see him again. We will just have to see what happens. I kissed his head and he began to stir. I best go now. I felt horrible for leaving him but I didn’t want him to wake up to me in case he regrets it. I hailed a cab and I was finally home. I headed for a shower to clean myself up and brushed my teeth. Changed my clothes too. I opted for a long-sleeved, white, V-neck top with dark blue jeans and suede black boots that were knee high. I heard my phone buzz. I can only hope…. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Holly  
Hey you,  
Fancy heading out for a coffee at 1? I want to know all about your date.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Nope not him. I don’t know why I got so hopeful anyway.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Holly  
Hi, yeah, I’ll come meet you. Our usual café?  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

I received a thumbs up in reply. Well it’s 12:50 now so best head off. As much as I wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep, I couldn’t abandon Holly. I pulled up outside our favourite café ‘Feather’s Coffee Bar’ We’ve been coming here for a few years now so sometimes we get special discounts.

Holly was sat waiting for me inside. She gave me a wave. 

“Hi! I ordered you a latte, your favourite. Its only just been served so its still hot.” She said embracing me. 

“Thanks.” I smiled. 

“God, I feel rough.” I truly did. Damn Benedict and his influence, letting me get pissed. 

“Hangover? I’ve got some paracetamol, you want some?” Holly offered. 

“Please.” She passed me two over and I swallowed them with my coffee. 

“So hangover, you must have been drinking, where did he take you?” 

“Phoenix Cocktail Bar.” I responded. 

“Ooo nice. Heard it’s good there.” 

“It is.” 

“So what happened?” I love how excited she gets over things like this. This also wasn’t the first time I’ve been sat in this café with a hangover from a date the night before. However, this time it was Benedict Cumberbatch I went out with. 

“Well after pouring Martini’s down my neck he asked me to go back to his to hang out.” 

“Did you go? Please tell me you did.” 

“Yes I did.” She high fived me. 

“Well he persuaded me into having some wine with him and then well, things got heated. I woke up in his bed this morning.” 

“Oh my God! You fucked him?” 

“Yes.” I laughed. 

“Keep it down, people will hear you.” 

“Sorry.” She giggled back. 

“Did he say anything to you this morning?” 

“No, I left him with a note.” The regret hit me wishing I could stay. “ 

There’s another thing, he told me he liked me but I didn’t know whether it was the alcohol talking or not.” I sighed. 

“You, should have stayed and asked if he meant it. Why didn’t you stay?" 

“I wish I did. I just thought maybe I should go in case he regrets it.” 

“Well text him” 

“I think maybe I should let him text me.” I said. 

“Fine have it your way. But don’t go regretting it.” I really want to text him but maybe I should leave him and let it sink in.

_**3 Months later…**_.  
“My agent called me, he’s managed to get me into a theatre production. It’s a star studded cast.” I told Holly. 

“Nice, who’s in it?” 

“Eddie Redmayne, Hugo Weaving and him…." 

“Oh God, Benedict?” I nodded. 

“What are you gonna do?” 

“Be professional. It’s the only thing I can do.” Let’s catch you up to speed, dear reader. Well, after sleeping with Benedict he never text me back. Oh and there’s another thing, I’m pregnant with his kid. Holly and only Holly knew this. 

“When do rehearsals start?” 

“Tomorrow.” I gulped. 

“Good luck.” She said hugging me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for not uploading in a while :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rehearsals begin and Jodie comes across Benedict for the first time since that night.

Day 1 of rehearsals for ‘Hamlet’. I dressed in a black t-shirt and blue jeans. I’ll get to a point when these will no longer fit me. They barely do now. I was showing already, great. Ben will easily notice, as will everyone else. I drove my purple mini-cooper to ‘The Barbican Theatre.’ I parked up and headed inside. All of the cast greeted and congratulated me as they saw the bump, but not Benedict. He just glanced at me, then my stomach and then back to me. I knew he’d figure it out in no time. Doesn’t take a genius when everyone around me is talking about it. Rehearsals went well and I was just getting ready to leave when I heard the rich baritone behind me. I knew exactly who it belonged to so I turned to face him. 

“Hi.” He smiled nervously, looking at my stomach again. 

“Congratulations. How far are you?” 

“3 months.” I said bluntly. His face was blank for a moment and then a look of realisation washed across his face. 

“Can we chat?” He asked. 

“I think that’s best.” I responded. 

“We can sit in my car.” He said and I followed him too it. 

We sat ourselves in the car. I turned and looked him straight in the eye. 

“Is it…” He began. 

“Yes it’s yours.” 

“How do you know?” Ben asked. 

“Well to my memory, I haven’t slept with anyone else after you fucked me.” I replied, slightly frustrated. There was a moment of silence. 

“Listen, I know I’ve fucked up really bad and I’m sorry. After it happened, I woke up and you weren’t there and I saw your note. I really wanted to text you, truly. I didn’t though because I thought since you left so fast you regretted it so I assumed you wouldn’t want to hear from me. I’ve missed you terribly. I loved our time together and I really wish I texted you. I was delighted when I found out you were in ‘Hamlet’ with me as I knew I’d get to see you again. The one thing I didn’t know however, is that I got you into this situation. I’m so sorry.” Wow, I was quite overwhelmed. He missed me? Damn it I should have text when Holly told me to. 

“I wanted to text you too, but I did what you did." 

“Well isn’t that awkward.” He laughed, trying to lighten up the mood. 

“Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I was really pissed that night, as you could probably tell. I really should have been more responsible that night. To put it bluntly, I should have something on the end of it.” 

“Yes, maybe. But it’s too late now.” 

“Are you…” He began. 

“What?” 

“Are you keeping it?” 

“Yes, after lots of thinking, talking to my friend, crying and sleepless nights I decided to keep it. 

“I’ll support you through this. I’ll get you anything you need for the baby.” Ben said after a pause. 

“Listen, don’t you think if I wanted anything from you, I would’ve said?” He didn’t answer. He spoke after a short pause. 

“May I? Please?” He asked looking at my bump. I took one of his large, warm hands and placed it on my bump. His face lit up. 

“That’s my baby.” Happy tears began to stream from his eyes. 

“It is.” 

“Thank you for keeping it. It means the world.” I smiled in reply. 

“Anyway, I’ll see you around.” I said. I opened the car to leave but he grabbed my wrist. 

“Wait! Stay, please.” He begged. 

“Yes?” I asked. 

“What I said that night, about liking you. I meant it. Truly.” 

“You, you did?” 

“Yes completely. Please come and stay with me for a while and see how you feel. If you don’t want to you don’t have to and you can leave at any time.” Is this a good idea? I mean, I do like him, he’s a genuinely nice guy and it may give us a chance to sort things out. 

“Alright.” A huge smile spread across his face. 

“How about starting tonight?” 

“Yes, yes! That’s perfect yes! Thank you.” He hesitated for a moment after looking like he was considering something and then he kissed me. On the lips. It felt exactly like the first time. I could feel tingles through my whole body. 

“Shall we go pick some stuff up for you?” 

“Yeah, I could do with going shopping when I get the time. All my stuff is getting tight.” 

“I’ll take you if you want?” He offered kindly. 

“Sure.” I smiled. I headed off to my car so I could drop it off at my place as we were going to use Ben’s to get to his place. I pulled up outside and Ben parked behind me. 

“Hey again.” He said happily. 

“Come on then.” I told him. We headed inside and I packed some of my things. He drove us to his apartment and helped me unpack when we got there. 

“Let’s go shopping!” He said. We headed out again and he drove me to the nearest shopping centre. We had a great time together. Benedict loved watching me come out of the changing rooms in different tops, pants and dresses. I felt bad because he bought me so much. I could tell just from today this baby was very important to him. As a fan, I’ve known he has wanted a child for a long time. We’ve been thrown into a rather strange situation before really getting to know each other. We finally got home and I was able to relax as Ben cooked a lasagne. I got bored of scrolling my phone so I went into the kitchen. His kitchen had grey stonework wallpaper with dark wooden cupboards and white counter tops. The floor was a lighter wood. Another room I liked. I sat myself on one of the dark wooden chairs around the kitchen island. 

“Last time I was here, you were pissed.” I laughed. He did too. 

“Not this time.” He replied. 

“So…” He began. 

“What?” 

“That morning, why did you leave me?” 

“Well I thought I’d go in case you regretted it. Didn’t want to embarrass you further.” 

“I don’t regret it.” He said simply. 

“Not one bit.” 

“Neither do I.” I responded. 

“You were rather good.” I chuckled. 

“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow. I’ve got his attention. 

“Really.” He came towards me and pulled me up by my arm. We standing very close together and he was looking straight into my eyes. 

“I’m a very experienced man Jodie.” He said, leaning into my ear making every hair stand on end. It gave me goose bumps. 

“Goose bumps hm?” Shit he’s noticed. 

“Was that my doing?” 

“Of course.” I managed to get out. 

“Good.” He hummed. Benedict leaned down and kissed my neck. I could feel tingles through every fibre of my being. Our bodies were touching and I could feel his erection pressing on me. I wanted him and badly. I was so tempted to fuck Ben where he stood. Benedict left me and went to check the lasagne and left me standing where I was. Damn tease. Lasagne was finally done so he served it out and we ate. 

“This is wonderful.” I said. It truly was delicious. 

“Thanks.” After our food we went to watch some TV and then headed to bed. Today turned out a lot better than I expected.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As for spoilers, I don't want to reveal anything put please note this chapter and the next (Chapter 7) may contain scenes readers may find upsetting

I am now 19 weeks pregnant. I’m due to go for a scan next week. Another thing, I stayed with Benedict for a week and we both decided we both truly did like each other so we’re dating now and I’m living with him which is nice. Holly is pleased everything turned out alright. I’ve met his parents who seemed to like me and became good friends with Tom. Rehearsals for ‘Hamlet’ are going really well. Now, how me and Ben got together. This is how that happened…. 

We were sat in Ben’s living room and he was reading his favourite poems to me. They were delightful to listen to. When he’d finished he turned to look at me. 

“Hey, so I want to talk to you about something.” He said. 

“OK.” I smiled. 

“Well now you’ve lived here for a week, how do you feel about things?” 

“I like it here, with you. You’re great company and I really like you." 

“Thank you. I feel the same. I’ve never liked, no loved anyone as much as you. I’d love for you to stay here permanently." 

“You love me?” I asked, not quite believing my ears. 

“Yes, very much so.” He beamed. 

“I love you too.” 

“How would you feel about being my girlfriend?” He proposed. 

“That’s probably the best idea you’ve ever had.” I smiled and hugged him tight….

Now, back to present day. I awoke this morning and I couldn’t help but notice something felt odd. I went to get out of bed and that’s when I saw it. There was a big bloodstain on my side of the bed and I was still bleeding now. A huge painful cramp began and I had to grab a hold of the bedside table. This isn’t right. I’m not supposed to bleed when pregnant. Then it hit me 

“Oh my God! Benedict wake up!” I said through gritted teeth. 

“Jodie, what’s the matter?” As he turned to look at me he saw the blood followed by me clutching my stomach. 

“Oh, God we need to get to hospital now!” He phoned an ambulance and I was in tears from pain and worry. An ambulance shortly arrived and they took me straight to hospital. I’d never seen Benedict so worried. I was took into a room and had tests run. Ben held my shaking hand the whole time and although he was upset he was supporting me as best he could 

“It’ll be alright.” He said whilst waiting for the midwife. Soon after, the midwife came in with a grave face. 

“What’s the matter?” My heart began beating heavily as I feared for the worst. 

“I’m so sorry the pair of you but you’ve lost the baby. I’m terribly sorry for your loss.” There was a silence as Benedict and I were in shock. “I’ll give you a moment. I understand this is a lot to take in” She said. After she left I looked at Ben and burst into tears. He held me tight as I cried and cried. 

“It’s all my fault! It’s my fault we lost it.” I bawled. 

“No, don’t say that, it wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do.” He said as an attempt to soothe me whilst crying himself. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do. 

“I’ve let you down, you really wanted a baby and I lost it.” 

“No, please don’t say that. Please don’t blame yourself.” He was pleading. After having a moment the midwife came back in. 

“Am I alright to discuss the next steps with you?” She asked. I nodded. 

“Well there’s two options, we can either induce the labour now or you could head home and see if the labour starts by itself.” 

“I want to be induced please.” Trying to speak between tears. 

“Alright, back in a second. Pop the hospital gown on whilst I’m away.” I did as she said. 

“I’ll be here the whole time OK? I promise.” Ben said. 

“Thank you.” The midwife came back in with a tub. 

“I’ll just explain the process to you. This is a special gel which will be inserted into the vagina to induce labour. Once labour begins, you’ll be offered pain relief as it’ll feel like a normal labour. Does all of that sound alright?” 

“Yes that’s fine.” I responded. She pulled on some rubber gloves and got some of the gel onto her finger. Benedict held my hand as she inserted the gel, not looking down there to give me privacy. We just looked at each other. She was done and headed off to dispose of her gloves and wash her hands. When she came back, she explained the next part of the process 

“So, labour could take as long to begin as a few hours or a couple of days. As soon as it starts, press the buzzer and I’ll be here.” 

“Thank you.” Benedict said to her. She nodded her head and left.

“You may as well head home, get ready for the day and have something to eat.” I told him. 

“No, I’m not leaving you.” He was insistent. 

“Nothing’s going to happen for a while yet. Please just eat for me.” He sighed at my response. 

“Fine but I’ll be 20 minutes tops. I’ll grab you some bits too.” He kissed me goodbye and headed off. Benedict was back in 20 minutes, like he promised. He was wearing blue jeans with a white t-shirt, black jacket and his brown boots. 

“I brought your toothbrush, a flannel, your dressing gown and slippers, some food and pyjamas in case you stay overnight or if you wanted to change. I bought you a coffee too.” 

“Thank you, love. I’m gonna clean up." 

“Alright, I’ll be here when you get back.” There was a sad atmosphere in the room. Of course there was, as expectant parents we had just received the worst news. Benedict was handling everything well. Although he is heartbroken, he is trying to be my rock and I couldn’t be prouder of him. I washed myself well, brushed my teeth and hair and sat on the toilet and broke into tears knowing that when I gave birth, we wouldn’t hear a cry and the baby wouldn’t move. I’d have to give birth to our dead baby. Nothing could possibly break my heart more. What kind of woman am I if I can’t hold onto a baby for 9 months? After crying, I splashed my face with water and went to leave the bathroom but as I wrapped my hand around the door handle, I heard a noise coming from the other room. It sounded like sobbing. Benedict was crying. I immediately opened the door and saw him. Head in his hands and his body shaking as he cried. I went over and hugged him. 

“Our poor baby.” He sobbed. I’d never seen him more heartbroken and it was destroying me. 

“I know, I’m so sorry.” I cried. “It’s alright, it’s not your fault.” Ben said trying to care for me. 

“We never even knew whether it was a boy or a girl.” He whispered with his face in my shoulder. 

“We’ll find out when it’s born.” He cried some more knowing, like me, than when it was born it wouldn’t cry or move. 

“Hey look at me.” I said softly. He did as I said and his eyes met mine. I wiped his tears away with my thumb. 

“We’re going to be alright OK? I promise.” He nodded and I gave him another squeeze. All we had to do was wait. It was now about 10 pm and still no sign of the baby I’d spent all of my day in this miserable hospital room and so had Ben. 

“Please try and sleep Ben, we could be here all night.” I personally didn’t feel like sleeping but I wanted him to be well rested at least. 

“No, I want to stay awake with you in case anything happens.” He said sternly. 

“Please Ben, I’ll wake you if I start. I promise.” I pleaded. 

He let out a sigh. “Alright fine but wake me as soon as anything happens.” 

“I will, I promise.” He kissed my head and pulled a blanket over himself in the chair he was in. He’d brought me a duvet and himself a blanket earlier when I had to persuade him to leave again to pick some things up. I’d already changed into my pyjamas and was now staring at the ceiling waiting for something, anything. Eventually my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep myself…. Until I was awoken by severe pains at around 1 in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie has to face giving birth to her miscarried child.

“Ben, I think it’s happening.” I said, attempting to tap him to wake him. He bolted up immediately. 

“Oh! Jodie is everything alright?” He asked, panicking. As soon as Benedict saw how much pain I was in, he pressed the buzzer for the midwife to come and she was here within seconds. 

“Is everything alright?” She asked. 

“Jodie has gone into labour.” Ben said, trying to stay calm. 

“Alright Jodie, do you know if you’re fully dilated yet?” I shook my head. 

“I’m just going to check OK?” She put on some gloves and gently put her fingers in to check. It didn’t bother me. 

“You’re currently at 4 centimetres and you need to be at 10 before you can start pushing and that may happen quickly or it may take a while. I’ll keep popping in to see how far you’ve got alright?” I nodded. She headed off and Ben held my hand as I had a very painful contraction. 

“You’ll be OK, I’ll help you through this.” He said, tears running down his face. 

“Thank you.” I whispered. He smiled at me. The midwife came in every 15 minutes to see how I was doing. After an hour, I reached 7cm and then after another half an hour I was finally ready. 

“OK Jodie, I’m going to take you through this every step of the way. When I say push, push for me for as long as you can alright?” I nodded. 

“You can do this, love.” Ben encouraged and I smiled. 

“1,2,3 push!” Said the midwife and I did as much as I could. 

“Again.” She said. 

“You’re doing brilliantly Jodie just keep pushing for me. After a few pushes I heard Ben say: 

“There’s the head, you’re almost there. Squeeze my hand if you need to.” I took his offer and squeezed as I completed my last push. I’d done it. The midwife took our baby to be cleaned up and wrapped it in a blanket. 

“Would you like to know what it would’ve been?” She asked softly. I looked at Ben and we both nodded. 

“A girl.” She said. I began to cry. 

“I’ll give you a moment to say your goodbye’s and to get any mementos you’d like, hand or foot prints, photos a lock of hair. That’s if you’d like to. You’re welcome to keep the blanket too. Would you like to hold her?” 

“Please.” I responded. She handed me our precious baby. I couldn’t help but cry when I saw her. 

“I’ll give you some time.” The midwife said softly. 

“Thank you.” Replied Ben. 

“She’s so small.” I whispered. She truly was. Her little hands and feet were clenched and her eyes shut, never to open. 

“I know.” He whispered back. 

“Hello sweetie.” I began, trying to talk whilst crying. 

“I’m your mummy and this is daddy. We both love you very much but we’ve got to let you go and say goodbye. Daddy and I will love you forever and will never forget about you, our very first baby girl. We don’t want to say goodbye, but we have to. I’m sorry we never got to meet you, I really am. Mummy loves you so much.” I said and kissed her head. I broke down entirely. I couldn’t bear to say goodbye to our baby girl. 

“Can I?” He asked softly. “Of course you can. Here.” I replied. “Daddy’s going to say goodbye now alright?” He was cradling her in his arms and he was truly broken. Benedict had wanted a baby for so long and he finally had one but she didn’t make it. How he must feel. 

“Hello, I’m daddy. It’s nice to meet you but sadly I’ll have to let you go soon. I love you so very much and you are very special to me and your mummy. You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful, aren’t you? I bet you got your mummy’s looks. I wonder whose eyes you would’ve had. I think we should give you a name, don’t you mummy?” I nodded. 

“What about Gracie?” He suggested. 

“Perfect.” I smiled. “Gracie Cumberbatch.” He smiled back as he heard his own last name. 

“How’s that sound for you Gracie? Is that alright?” The midwife walked in quietly. 

“Have you decided on anything?” She asked. “We’ve chosen a name, Gracie Cumberbatch.” I smiled. 

“That’s lovely. Would you like to take any mementos?” “Can we have her hand and footprints please? Oh and the blanket” Ben asked. 

“Of course. If you just pass her to me and I’ll sort that for you.” Ben kissed her head and handed Gracie to the midwife who headed off. She came back a few moments later. 

“Here you go, her hand and footprints with her name and date of birth.” “Thank you.” He whispered.

We both knew what had to happen next. The midwife handed Gracie back to Ben. 

“Well Gracie, I’m so sorry but I’ve got to say goodbye now. Remember, I love you very much and I’ll never forget you. Goodbye Gracie.” He cried inconsolably. 

“Goodbye my little girl. I love you.” He handed her to me after kissing her head as he sobbed. 

“Mummy’s turn now. I love you very much and I hate to say goodbye but you have to go to meet the angels now. They’ll take care of you until mummy and daddy can come and see you again. I won’t ever forget you I promise. Goodbye Gracie, my wonderful little daughter.” I kissed her head and held her tight before passing her to the midwife to put her in a bed that had been brought in. 

“Before you take her, I have something for her.” Benedict said. He took a teddy from the bag and laid it next to her. 

“Now you have a friend.” I got out of bed to wave her off. I hugged the blanket and Ben as we cried whilst we waved our baby daughter off for the very last time. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie and Benedict battle the grief of losing a child. They also agree its time to tell friends and family

I secluded myself in our bedroom to grieve alone for two days. I rarely left the bed, only to go to the loo. I wouldn’t see anyone, not even Ben. I couldn’t face anyone. Ben knocked on my door. 

“Jodie…” 

“Please, leave me.” I cried. 

“Come and eat something at least. Please.” 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“Please, let me see you.” 

“I can’t” 

“Why?” Benedict cried. 

“I need you!” I heard him slide down the other side of the door and sob. I shouldn’t shut him out. He needed me. I was being selfish leaving him. I got out of bed and opened my door. I sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. 

“I was worried about you.” He sobbed. 

“Don’t be. I’ll be alright OK?” Ben nodded. “ 

This is all my fault.” 

“It’s not! It’s not your fault.” He said to me. I knew he was right but I couldn’t help but feel like I’d failed. 

“I’ll eat, for you. I only want something light.” He smiled and got up of the floor and pulled me up. 

“Toast?” He asked. 

“Please.” I kissed him on the cheek. 

“I’m thinking maybe we should tell Tom, Holly and my parents. They deserve to know.” He said. 

“I agree. Who first?” 

“Tom and Holly?” I nodded. He called Tom and I called Holly. We thought it’d be best in person. They were both round in 20 minutes. 

“Hey.” Benedict said embracing them both. 

"Tea?” 

“Please, Ben.” Answered Tom. 

“That’d be nice, thanks.” Holly replied. Ben went off to make them and I hugged my friends. 

“Please, come sit down.” I told them. I sat on the sofa opposite to them and prepared myself whilst waiting for Ben. He came in with a tray of teas and set it on the table. He then handed them out one by one. 

“What’s all this about Ben? It sounded urgent.” Asked Tom. He seemed on edge. 

“We have some rather sad news.” Benedict began. I took a deep breath. 

“We… lost the baby.” There was a silence in the room as the news sunk in. 

“Oh my God, I am so terribly sorry.” Tom said, getting to his feet. 

“What tragic news.” He hugged us both. 

“Thank you.” I said. 

“I’m so sorry Jodie and Benedict, that’s awful.” I repeated my response to Holly as she hugged us too. Tom gave Benedict a hug. Then he came over to me and did the same. 

“I’m so sorry, I’ll be here for you both the whole time.” 

“Thanks Tom. That’s appreciated." 

“I’d do anything for you both. I love each of you dearly.” He looked behind me and saw that Ben was leaving. 

“I’m just going to see where he’s going.” He let go of me and Holly soon took me into her arms.

“If you need anything please let me know straight away.” 

“I will, thank you.” 

“No need to thank me it’s why I’m here.” I felt a tap on my shoulder. 

“Hey.” It was Tom. 

“Ben’s in your bedroom and he’s terribly upset. Nothing seems to comfort him. He whispered. 

“Let me go talk to him.” I reassured him. I could see how bad he felt for his best friend, knowing he couldn’t do anything for his friend. 

"Tom?” 

“Yeah?” He asked. 

“Don’t worry about him, I’ll look after him. As you understand he is devastated so he’s hard to comfort so don’t think it’s you alright?” He nodded. 

“Thank you.” He responded, seeming a little more picked up after my words. It was my turn to support Benedict now, it’s all he’s done for me these past days so it’s time he had some support. I knocked softly on door leaving Holly and Tom to discuss the news. 

“Hey Benedict, it’s me. Can I come in?” There was a pause but it was shortly followed by the opening of the bedroom door. When I saw him, he had red eyes and tear stained cheeks. Some tears were still running down his face. I automatically wiped away the tears away with my thumb.

“Let’s go sit on the bed.” He followed and then sat beside me. I pulled him into a hug. 

“What’s the matter?” I asked, my voice gentle. 

“I feel so bad for you. Having to suffer this all because of that a few months ago. It wouldn’t have happened if I would’ve been responsible. I wish I could’ve done something to stop it happening. Watching what you’re going through, it hurts me terribly. I’d do anything to bring our little Gracie back. I’d give anything.” Benedict crumbled in my arms. 

“Hey, it’s alright.” I soothed, wiping his tears away. 

“None of this is your fault, nothing at all. couldn’t have done anything to save her. Please Ben, don’t blame yourself." 

“Alright.” He nodded. 

“Promise me?” 

“Promise.” He smiled. There was a pause. 

“Thank you.” He whispered. 

“No need to thank me I responded.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life moves on for Jodie and Ben

_**1 Month later….** _

Life was better now, we’d grieved and now everything was returning to normal. We started going back to ‘Hamlet’ last week. Even though we felt better we never stopped thinking about her and we still missed her terribly. Tom, Holly and Ben’s parents were the most supportive people we could ask for and I’m so grateful for them. When I woke, Benedict was already wide awake and there was a message from Tom. Best check it, could be important. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Tom  
Hi,  
Hope you and Benedict are doing alright? Fancy going out for lunch later as a cheer up? 12 at Ben's place OK?  
Love, Tom x  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Tom  
Hey,  
Sounds good. I’ll let Ben know. We’re doing good thank you.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“Good morning.” He said followed by a kiss on my head. 

“I made you a cuppa.” 

“Thank you.” There was a moment of silence as we looked each other deeply in the eye. Ben leaned in and kissed me softly. The soft, hot feel of his lips was something I’d missed. As he went to pull away, I stopped him. 

“I was enjoying that.” I said. 

“Sorry.” His beautiful smile beamed across his face. He came back and kissed me some more. I never wanted this moment to end. It had been a long time since we kissed this passionately. 

“I’m gonna have to be the one to stop now. Tom asked if we’d like to go for lunch as a cheer up and I said we would.” I told him softly. 

“Can’t we stay here together?” He whispered. 

“Later.” I replied pressing one more kiss against his lips. 

I drank my tea and headed off into the bathroom for a shower. His bathroom was the epitome of luxury. White tiled floor, blue tiled walls with a glitter effect. A large, round, white bathtub at the end of the room with a square toilet in the right hand end corner. The shower was constructed into the right wall with a glass door, the white square sink in the left corner near the door with a rectangular mirror above. It had the sort of taps that turned on automatically when you put your hand underneath. Blue bathroom mats in front of the bath and shower. I had music on loudly in the shower and was singing along so I didn’t hear Benedict come in. He slid back the glass door and popped his head round. 

“You sound beautiful.” He smiled, looking me up and down at the same time. 

“Pffft please.” I laughed. 

“I mean it.” He said more seriously. 

“May I join you?” He winked. Damn, gets me every time. 

“Go on then. So much for later.” I rolled my eyes back at him. 

“We can’t be too long though, Tom’s coming-” 

“Yes, I know. He laughed interrupting me. I watched him as he took off his grey t-shirt and blue boxers. My God, he looks good naked. Everything about him is so fine. He got in and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but look down at his manhood, how could I not? 

“Hey, eyes up here.” Benedict giggled. 

“Seriously?” I laughed back. 

“Nah, course not. Come here.” He said, his voice deeper on the last part. He pulled me in for a passionate kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I moaned in response. 

“Mmmm she likes that.” He said, pausing the making out. I smiled in reply. He picked me up and held me against the shower wall. I lost my hand in his hair and pulled. 

“Naughty girl.” He said, voice deeper than you can imagine. 

“I may be but we need to get ready now.” He gave me his sad puppy eyes. It is impossible for me to resist puppy eyes of any form, especially Ben’s. 

“Damn it, Ben.” I smiled. He grinned back at me as he pushed himself inside me. This the second time he’s had me in the 2 months we’d been together. It felt as good as the first time. We moaned and moaned as he held me close and I grabbed his perfect behind. 

“God, I’ve missed you.” He panted. 

“I’ve missed you too.” I came shortly after and he did too. Afterwards, we washed each other’s bodies and hair which was a nice, intimate bonding moment between us. We wrapped ourselves in a towel and began heading into his room next door.

“Shame you had to hide that beautiful body under that towel.” He purred behind me. I turned round and pouted at him sadly to tease him. We ate breakfast and then got dressed. We were ready by 11:30 and Tom was coming at 12. I wore a black pencil skirt with a light-blue off-shoulder top with long sleeves accompanied with black heels and a black shoulder bag. Ben went for a purple shirt (one of my favourites.) Black trousers as well as shoes and boy did he look good. 

“Damn that’s a hot look.” Automatically came out of my mouth. 

“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow at me and approached me. He stood so close our bodies were touching. 

“Well, you look fucking gorgeous yourself. That skirt really makes your arse look good.” He groaned sexily. His voice sent shivers all across my body. 

“Behave.” I giggled. “I just need to finish my hair and make-up.” 

“Alright gorgeous.” He replied. I dusted my cheeks with a light pink blush and went for a pink lip gloss. I tied my brunette hair into a low bun and I were done. As I stood up, I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around my waist and Ben’s warm lips on the back of my neck. Each of my hairs were on end. 

“You’re fucking hot you know that?” He whispered. 

“Thank you.” I blushed. 

“I can’t wait to get you home later, I’m desperate for you.” 

“Already?” I laughed. 

“Yes, already. How can I not be when you look like that?” I can’t take anymore. He’s turning me on so much. 

“I can’t wait for us to get back either.” I said in my seductive voice. Benedict turned me to face him and began making out passionately until there was a buzz at the door. 

“Damn it Tom.” Ben laughed. He went to buzz him up whilst I touch up my make up since it had smudged from Benedict’s assault on my lips. When I was done, I headed in to greet Tom. 

“Hi!” He smiled, pulling me into an embrace and kissing my cheek. 

“Hello, good to see you.” I responded. 

“Shall we head off then?” Tom asked. 

“Let’s go!” Ben answered enthusiastically.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie, Benedict and Tom catch up together and Jodie finds out Benedict has been struggling more than he's let on.

“How you both holding up?” Tom asked sympathetically. He was driving us in his blue BMW to ‘The Midnight Bistro’ I went quiet. As much as I’m doing well, any mention of her hurts. 

“We’re doing better, thanks Tom. You’ve been wonderfully supportive through everything.” 

“It’s the least I could do, I love you both dearly.” We pulled up outside the restaurant and headed inside. We were soon seated at a table and was looking at the menu whilst chatting. 

“So how’s ‘Hamlet coming along?” 

“Quite well.” I responded. 

“I’m Ophelia and he is the star as Hamlet.” I smiled at Ben. 

“I’ll have to come and see it.” Added Tom. We had our meals and we all headed back to Ben’s flat. I nipped to the bathroom and when I was about to walk back in, I could hear them talking in lower voices than normal so I stayed on the other side of the door to listen. 

“Are you wanting to try again?” I heard Tom say. 

“Maybe, hopefully. I do want one but not just yet. We are still hurting. After this morning I’ll have to see how it turns out. I’ll have to keep an eye on her.” Benedict responded. 

“Does she want kids?” Tom asked. Now the penny dropped on what they were talking about. 

“I don’t know.” He said and I walked in as soon as he finished the word ‘know’. They jumped at my entrance and I could tell by looking they were hoping I didn’t hear anything. 

“Oh, hey. You scared me there.” Ben laughed. Playing it cool. 

“So, what did I miss?” I saw them both exchange a look. 

“Nothing much, love.” Benedict said. Hmmmmm sure. 

“Well, I best be off. Good to see you both.” Tom announced. 

“See you later. Thanks for lunch.” I said hugging him. 

“Goodbye.” Ben finished, also embracing him. 

Ben and I were sat at the dining table eating lasagne, he’d made himself a vegan version. 

“So, Ben.” I began. 

“Yes love?” He beamed at me. 

“Are you wanting another child?” I asked, straight to the point. A look of surprise washed over his face. 

“Um, well, yes at some point.” He stuttered. 

“Of course I do. I haven’t forgot about Gracie, I never will.” The mention of her name pained me. 

“But I would love to try again someday.” 

“Alright.” I said simply. I had to ask him. I needed to know. 

“So was this morning trying again?” 

“No, no certainly not.” He replied. 

“That was just, just to show that I love you and I’d missed it too. Me. You. In the heat of passion like that. Last time was when we were drunk and I’d missed you.” Another pause. 

“But what if I become pregnant again?” 

“Well that would be wonderful. Wouldn’t it?” He asked, a worried tone in his voice. 

“Yes, maybe. Excuse me.” I couldn’t talk about this no longer. I got up from the table, headed to Ben’s bedroom and locked myself in it. Tears poured and poured. I took out her hand and footprints from her memento box from under the bed and held them close. I couldn’t bear to have another, not yet. What if I lost it again? Could I really take it? Could Ben really take it? Losing his largest hope twice. Speaking of the man, I heard a knock on the door. 

“Jodie?” I didn’t respond. 

“Jodie, can I come in? Please?” Desperation was in his voice. 

“Jodie please don’t shut me out again please.” I unlocked the door, went back to the bed and held the prints close again. Benedict saw what I was holding and his face immediately sank. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to upset you. I just, I really wanted a baby but sadly she was taken away.” 

He said softly, looking at the prints. 

“Off course I’ll never forget her. She was my first daughter and I’ll always love her. I didn’t mean for you to feel pushed, I’m sorry. We can wait for as long as you want.” I pulled him into a hug. 

“It’s alright, you didn’t mean any harm. I love you.” I whispered. 

“I love you too.” He replied. Benedict took the prints from my hand and looked at them for the first time since we brought them home. I looked at them frequently. He did not. It was his way of coping. As much as he seemed strong on the outside, I knew it still destroyed him inside. 

“They’re so small.” 

“I know.” I said looking at them. I saw one droplet land on the glass, then another and another. Benedict was crying. 

“Come here.” I embraced him. He tried not to cry. The only time he ever had was in the hospital and when Tom had come over. Since then, he’s just stored it away inside, like a dam, but looking at the prints made his damn burst and it all came out. 

“I’m so sorry!” He cried loudly. 

“I should’ve helped! I could’ve tried to save her! Now we have no baby and for what? Because I didn’t put anything on the end of it. You wouldn’t have ever been pregnant if it wasn’t for me. It’s all my fault!” He was an uncontrollable mess. It truly had destroyed him and now Benedict was pinning it all on him. 

“Hey, shhhhh. Don’t say that. I don’t regret becoming pregnant one bit. I regret that it didn’t carry the whole way but that wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault and no one could have saved her. It’s what happens sometimes. Benedict, please whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. It won’t help. Things will get better I promise you. Alright? I love you.” He was silent for a moment before hugging me tighter. 

“Thank you.” He said simply. 

“I love you.” I repeated. “I always will, no matter what.” “I love you too Jodie.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie and Benedict learn something new about each other and life continues as normal.

I spent this Sunday binge watching ‘Patrick Melrose’. With everything going on I’ve had to record them all. It’s such a masterpiece and a brilliant piece of television. 

“Hey, Ben.” I called. 

“Yes love?” 

“This is brilliant and you’re so good. You should be proud.” 

“Thank you. I am proud of it and everyone behind it.” He smiled and kissed my head. “Anyway, I’ve got to go do this interview, I’ll be home soon. Goodbye, I love you." 

“I love you too. Have a nice day” I replied, pulling him in for a kiss. Our foreheads rested against each other before he gave me one more kiss and left. I decided I may as well go and visit his parents. I got into my car and started the hour long drive. I switched on the radio and put one of my favourite songs on, ‘Perfect Day’ by Lou Reed. I’ve always liked the lyrics because they’re so beautiful, but now I’m with Benedict, I always think of him when I hear them: 

_‘Oh, it’s such a perfect day_  
_I’m glad I spent it with you_  
_Oh, such a perfect day_  
_You just keep me hanging on_  
_You just keep me hanging on’_  


I sang along softly to the words as I drove and smiled as I realised how much they did make me think of him. He really does keep me hanging on, no matter what happens. My phone buzzed with a text. Benedict. I’ll read it later. After ‘Perfect Day’ finished, I blasted all sorts of songs on the radio and sang at the top of my lungs. I remembered what Ben said about me sounding beautiful and giggled. I pulled up outside his parent’s and read his message. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
Hey gorgeous,  
You’re in for a surprise later tonight. Something tells me you’re gonna like it ;)  
Love, Ben xxxxx  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I couldn’t help but giggle. He’s so naughty sometimes.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
To: Benedict  
Hello,  
Sounds fun, can’t wait. I’ve gone to pay a visit to your parents so I’ll see you later.  
Love you xxxx  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
Alright baby see you soon x  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


I knocked on his parent’s door and Wanda answered. 

“Jodie dear! Such a lovely surprise to see you. Do come in.” She said embracing me. 

“Hello, Wanda.” I smiled and followed her inside. 

“Tim, Jodie’s here.” Wanda called. Tim came out of the kitchen to come and say hello. 

“Jodie! It’s so nice to see you.” He smiled, also hugging me. I can see where Benedict gets it all from. 

“Take a seat and I’ll make you a cup of tea.” Wanda said sweetly. 

“Thank you, Wanda.” I really do love these two. They’re so sweet and kind. Wanda came back a few moments later. 

“Here’s your tea.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Where’s Benedict?” Tim asked. 

“Oh, he’s just doing an interview so I thought I’d come and visit you both.” 

“Ah, that’s very nice of you. It’s good to see you.” He replied. 

“How are you both doing dear?” Wanda asked me kindly. 

“We’re doing alright. We’re getting better, helping each other through it.” 

“Glad to hear. Remember if you ever need anything, either of you, we’re here. We love you both very much.” 

“Thank you, Wanda.” I said quietly. We quickly moved off the subject of our little Gracie and I ended up staying for 2 hours until there was another knock on the door. I wonder who it is? 

“I’ll be back in a moment.” Said Wanda. A few moments later we heard: 

“It’s you! Hello dear! Two surprises in one day Tim!” Wanda came back in and behind her was Ben.

“Hello. This is a nice surprise.” I smiled. He walked over and gave me a kiss. 

“Hi. Thought I’d surprise you all.” He smiled back and sat beside me, taking my hand in his. They’re so warm and soft. After he’d had a cup of tea and I’d had my fifth, it was time for us to go. 

“Thank you for coming to visit Jodie.” Wanda said. 

“No problem, it was nice to see you both. Thanks for the tea.” 

I hugged them both goodbye and Benedict did the same. Benedict had got a cab here and left his car at the apartment when he got back so we got into mine. I put the radio on again and played ‘Perfect Day’ again. 

“This is a nice song.” Benedict said. 

“It’s one of my favourites.” I replied. 

“The words make me think of you.” He smiled when I said this. When the chorus came on, I sang it to him. 

_‘Oh, it’s such a perfect day_  
_I’m glad I spent it with you_  
_Oh, such a perfect day_  
_You just keep me hanging on_  
_You just keep me hanging on’_  


“They make me think of you too.” He said softly. Now it was my turn to smile. 

“You truly do sound beautiful when you sing.” Ben added. 

“Thank you.” I responded, still smiling. 

“Actually, speaking of music, I’ve never told you that I can play the piano or violin, have I?” 

“No you haven’t. I’d love to hear you play.” 

“Maybe one day.” I laughed. 

“Do you have a violin?” 

“Yes, I brought it with me when I moved in.” I forgot to mention that I’d moved in officially. He asked just before we lost….. well you know. 

“Play for me when we get home?” He asked. 

“Hm, I don’t know.” 

“Pleasssseeee.” He pleaded. Ben was like a small child begging for an ice cream. 

“Alright.” I giggled. 

“Thank you." 

“No problem, I guess.” I giggled again. 

When we got home I went and took my violin from under the bed and headed into the living room. Ben was already sat waiting patiently for me. It was rather adorable how eager he was. I played ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Céline Dion. When I finished, he had a beautiful smile spread across his face. 

“That was wonderful. Absolutely perfect.” He said. 

“Thank you.” I was beaming from ear to ear. 

“How long you been playing?” Benedict asked. 

“Since I was 10.” 

“Wow.” He replied. Then I had an idea. I played the ‘Sherlock’ theme and he began to laugh when he realised what I was doing. 

“May I?” He asked. 

“Yeah, here.” I handed him the violin. 

“You learned to play it in a week, didn’t you?” 

“I did.” He seemed happy I’d remembered such a small thing about him. He rested the violin on his shoulder and began playing ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ by Elvis Presley. It’s a very beautiful song and Benedict played it equally as beautiful. I kept my eyes on him as he played. Watching his hands elegantly move the bow and his fingers delicately pluck the strings was one of the most hypnotising things I’d seen. His eyes were shut as he concentrated. I could see how he really got into playing it was wonderful to hear him play. After he’d finished, I had the overwhelming urge to kiss him and as his magical eyes met with mine, I could hold no longer and practically leapt forward. I kissed him deeply and full of passion. He moaned as it took him by surprised and eagerly kissed me back. We kissed for a while before he broke it to say: 

“Hold on, let’s put your violin away.” 

“Oh yes.” I laughed. There was a pause and then I added. “You play very beautifully.” “Thank you. I’m glad you think so.” 

“I love you.” I whispered. 

“I love you too.” I went back to kissing him passionately. He began moaning again and I leaned him back on the sofa and straddled him. I could feel his erection pressing against me. He was getting excited. Good. His hand buried itself in my hair and we both moaned as I slipped my tongue into his mouth. When he pulled away he was panting. Damn it’s hot. 

“How about that surprise?” He panted but still managed to maintain that deep, sexy voice he does when he’s turned on. 

“Go on then.” I said seductively.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up and Benedict and Jodie have a night of fun

I climbed off him and he stood up. He pulled me up by the hand and then carried me to our room whilst still kissing me. The next minute I was laid on the bed with him over me. I could see how his lips had swollen from my assault on his lips. He started kissing my neck and I was trembling already. He knows it gets me. I could feel how desperate his erection was to get out of his trousers. 

“Too many clothes on.” He said simply. Benedict gestured for me to stand up so I did. He pulled my top over my head and freed me from my trousers. 

“Better for now. Turn around.” He commanded. Ah I see, I’m getting a dominant Benedict tonight. Any colour he had in his eyes had disappeared behind his darkened, lust filled eyes. I did as he said and felt his hot lips meet the back of my neck. Every hair stood on end, goose bumps covered my body and shivers travelled through it. 

“Look at that, she’s having fun already. Goose bumps and shivering, I like it.” He said in his deep, rich baritone. He’d noticed which meant he’d do anything he could to get me to be as loud as possible. He unhooked my bra effortlessly and Ben turned me round to face him once more and laid me down. As soon as I was down his mouth met with one of my breasts. He sucked, nibbled and licked whilst caressing the other. I was already in heaven. 

He began moving his gentle, but hungry kisses down my body until he reached my underwear which he pulled down with his teeth. He was so close to where I needed him and it was driving me insane. He stopped to undress himself. As soon as he took his blue boxer shorts off, it looked irresistible so when he came back to the bed, I set my mouth to work. As he kneeled on the bed, I teased his tip before taking him in my mouth entirely. This is the first time I’d done it to Ben and he seemed to be liking it as deep groans resonated in his throat. 

“Good girl.” He moaned. 

“That’s so good.” After a short while longer he told me “That’s enough now.” He tied something around my eyes and laid me down. Now I couldn’t see, I was constantly anticipating Benedict’s next move. I felt his soft lips on my thighs and I jumped in excitement and surprise. 

“Easy” he whispered. He continued placing tender kisses on each thigh, ever so slightly moving up each time. He was so close to my centre, I could feel his breath on it. I couldn’t take it no longer, it was driving me mad. 

“Please.” I breathed 

“Patience my dear.” He responded. He continued the teasing for a short while and then I finally could feel him where I needed him. 

“Oh God.” I panted. 

“Do you like it?” He asked, his voice low. 

“Of course I do.” Ben continued to work his magic with his mouth and I was in ecstasy. I felt one and then two of his long, elegant fingers enter me. He moved them in and out with speed whilst sucking my clit. His tongue swirled and flicked over it, creating incredible sensations throughout my body which intensified when he bent his fingers upwards to hit my spot. Now I was helpless, he was pleasing both of the spots that drive every woman crazy. 

“If you don’t stop, I’m gonna come.” I tried to get out between moans. 

“No you won’t.” He growled. 

“But, I’m so close. It’s so good.” 

"No. Not yet. When I say.” He ordered. I tried as hard as I could to not release and fuck it was hard. Ben stopped and rested himself above me. 

“Are you ready?” He whispered in my ear. I nodded in reply. 

“I can’t hear you.” This time his voice was firmer. 

“Are you ready?” He asked again. “Yes.” I replied breathlessly. I didn’t get any words in response, just Ben pushing himself into me which was followed by a groan. He removed my blindfold and thrusted as hard as he could. I was practically screaming. 

"Benedict! Oh fuck Ben!” I grabbed at his hair which rewarded me with a groan. 

“Do it again.” He breathed. I continued to pull with one hand whilst holding his firm, muscular shoulder with the other. I shut my eyes and laid there helplessly as he pleased me. I was too overtook do anything. It took me a moment to notice he was no longer inside me, but laid beside me. I turned and saw him looking at me expectantly. 

“What’s the matter?” I asked. 

“Get on top.” He ordered. I did as he said and straddled over him. I slowly sank myself down until I felt him fill me completely again. I began moving slowly at first whilst kissing him. 

“I’m not having any of that.” Ben huffed. He looked me straight in the eye. 

“Faster” he said and I obliged immediately. How could I not when his voice was that damn sexy. 

"That’s better.” He moaned. 

“You feel so damn good you know that? So fucking good.” All of his dirty talking was driving me even crazier. 

“You’re so tight.” 

“You’re so big.” I panted in reply. 

“And having you inside me is so good.” With the noise he made I can only assume he liked what he was hearing. He looked me straight in the eye again. 

“Come.” He demanded. 

“I want to see you come on top of me.” It wasn’t hard to obey, a few more thrusts and I was there, calling his name. 

“Say it louder than that, I know you can.” I screamed his name now until I could scream it no more. I’d had the best night of my life. I moved some more and Benedict was finished too, panting my name. After we’d had a moment to breathe, we laid beside each other, my head on his chest. 

“That was amazing baby.” I smiled at him. 

“I know.” He said simply. We both cleaned up and ordered some food as none of us could bother to cook. We watched some TV for a bit before heading to bed. 

“Goodnight, love.” He whispered, kissing my head. 

“Goodnight.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time for 'Hamlet' finally arrives and after their final show, the cast go out to celebrate.

A couple of weeks passed and we were ready for ‘Hamlet’. It was our final show and I was so excited to perform but sad it was our last. I was also thrilled to be performing it alongside such a star-studded cast and Ben of course. Tom, Holly and Ben’s parents were all coming to see the performance. We were all getting ready backstage and I managed to speak to Ben in the rush. 

“Hey. How you feeling?” He asked sweetly. 

“I’m doing OK? You?” 

“Yeah, I feel ready. Good luck.” Benedict smiled. 

“Thank you, you too.” Ben had to go and have his makeup finished so I was alone for a bit until Hugo Weaving bumped into me. 

“Ah, hello.” He said. “It’s nice to see you.” 

“Thanks, same to you. 

“How you holding up?” With the sympathetic look he gave me I knew what he meant. 

“I’m fine yeah.” I replied quietly. 

“Sorry to hear, I know it’s late but I didn’t want to say when you first came back.” 

“Thanks Hugo.” 

“How’s Benedict?" 

“He’s doing alright.” 

“You know, I never suspected you and Ben. I was surprised when I found out. I never even knew you both had met before this.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t expect it either.” I laughed. 

“So how’d you both happen?” He asked, laughing also. 

“Well, I served him in the café I worked in and he asked for my number, fast I know. We went out for a couple of drinks that night and we went to his and well you know. I ended up in that situation and we didn’t see each other for a few months and then we saw each other again working on this and when he saw I was… pregnant” the word got stuck in my throat. 

“He asked if it was his so I told him and we worked things out from there.” 

“Bit of a roller coaster then” He replied. 

“Yeah, quite. Oh, before I forget, I saw 'Patrick Melrose' and you were fantastic.” 

“Thank you, you’re very kind.” Hugo smiled. 

“5 minutes guys!” We heard called from one of the crew members. “

Well we best go get into position.” I said. 

“Yep, see you later.”

The show went brilliantly. I’m so proud of everyone and I’m so happy I got to work with such a talented cast. I truly was a once in a lifetime moment. Everyone was so brilliant. It’s a shame it was our last show. We were all going out to celebrate at a bar nearby so we’d brought outfits with us. I wore a black mini skirt with a light blue, long sleeved top with a V-neck and black heels. I arranged my hair into a low bun and added a little make up and I was ready. 

“You look wonderful.” Ben smiled who was in a white shirt with the top two buttons open, grey trousers and black shoes. 

“So do you.” I winked. He tapped my bum in reply. 

“Hey behave!” I laughed. 

“You weren’t saying that last night, were you?” He said, his voice low. 

“Shhhh. We don’t want everyone knowing.” I laughed. 

“Off we go then.” He smiled. We were all been driven down in a limo so we could all fit in and it saved us all driving. Me and Ben had been sleeping together a lot without protection so by now, I thought I’d be pregnant again. Nothing. My period’s are still normal. I’m still trying to decide if it’s a good thing or not.

We arrived at the bar and Ben and I kept public affection to a minimum. No one except our cast mates, a few friends and family knew and we liked it that way for now. The celebration was going brilliantly, looking at them all making fools out of themselves on the dance floor was one of the best things. I joined in, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. After a while, we were all very pissed and I noticed Ben was nowhere to be seen. I saw Hugo and headed over to him. 

“Hey, great party!” I shouted over the music. 

“It is!” He responded. 

“Don’t suppose you’ve seen Benedict, have you?” 

“Errr, I saw him with someone a few minutes ago, they headed outside.” 

“Thanks Hugo.” I headed out of the bar door and sure enough, there was Ben. He was stood with a woman I didn’t know and she seemed to be fawning over him and he didn’t seem to mind. I have no idea who she is but I felt rather hurt. 

“Hello.” I said. They both jumped at the sound of my voice. 

“Ah, Jodie! Hello.” He slurred. He stumbled over and wrapped an arm around me. The woman headed inside, avoiding me. Why? 

“So, who was she?” I asked. 

“Who?” I gave him a look. 

“Oh, her! Oh she’s no one.” 

“Alright. Wanna head back in?” 

“Sure!” He smiled. I didn’t want to think anything bad of it but I had this gut feeling something was gonna fuck up. 

We spent a little longer in the bar until Ben could drink no more.

“You best take him back.” Chuckled Hugo. 

“God, he’s pissed.” Added Eddie. 

“Come on you.” I laughed. 

“Home time.” 

“Yes boss.” He slurred. For the rest of the night, he had been with me constantly. Very clingy. More affection than he’d usually show in public. 

“Watch it you.” I giggled. 

“Bye guys!” Ben shouted and did a rather over extravagant wave. 

"See you all.” I said. 

“Goodbye.” They all said in reply. What a night!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie and Benedict become worried for a certain part of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hope you're all still enjoying the story :) If you really want you could let me know. Any feedback, positive or negative is appreciated!  
> Thank you :)

Benedict was incredibly hungover the next day and didn’t roll out of bed till lunch time. I’d already cleaned the apartment then and was sat on the sofa reading when he stumbled in. 

“Paracetamols, water. Kitchen island.” I said simply. 

“Thanks.” I was slightly hungover too but he was way worse. He was arseholed last night. He flopped himself beside me. 

“You’re up late.” Nothing like stating the obvious. 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“I’ve cleaned up already.” 

“Thank you.” I’m still concerned there’s no signs of pregnancy at all not one. Surely, it’s not right. I won’t tell him now, maybe when he feels a little better. No it can’t wait. I’d already texted Holly, she thinks it’s not right too and told me to speak to Ben so now’s the time. 

“Ben?” I said quietly. He didn’t hear me. 

“Ben?” I repeated, a little louder this time. 

“Yes, love?” He turned and met my eyes. 

“Can, can we talk?” 

“Yeah, course we can. What’s up? He must’ve seen the glum look on my face. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked a little more sympathetically. 

“Yeah sort of. Well no actually, everything isn’t alright.” 

“Why? What’s the matter? It isn’t me is it?” Benedict was becoming worried now. 

“Well do you know how we’ve been having a lot of unprotected sex recently?” He nodded. 

“Well, logically you think I’d be pregnant by now wouldn’t you?” 

“Yes.” He replied. 

“Well I’m not. Everything’s still normal. I know we’re not trying or anything but nothing has changed. I’m still having periods and everything. What’s wrong with me?” He was quiet for a moment as he took in everything I’d just said. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. It might just be taking a little longer.” He said softly, stroking my hand. 

“Come on Ben! A little longer how many times have we had sex now? A fair few and you’ve came inside me every. Single. Time. Yet, nothing’s different. I still have my periods, I shown no signs. Nothing! Nothing’s there. Why aren’t I conceiving Ben? Why? Can I not have kids anymore? If I can’t what are we supposed to do? All you’ve ever wanted is children and if I can’t deliver than I’ll never make you happy! I can’t have kids can I Ben?” I began to cry as I started to believe my last sentence was the truth. He pulled me into a hug. 

“Hey, you’re been silly. You don’t have to give me children to make me happy. I’m already happy with you. We may struggle for a while and if you like, when we decide we are ready again and if we still aren’t having any luck, we can go to the doctors OK? See what they can do. But don’t worry about it for now. Alright?” 

“OK.” I said quietly, still sobbing. 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” I smiled. 

“I’m gonna go get ready OK?” I nodded. He kissed my head and off he went. It wasn’t long before he left that the door was buzzing. 

“Hello. It’s Tom! Thought I’d come pay you both a visit.” 

“Hey. Yeah come up. Just walk in when you get here.” I put the phone down and went to go get the three of us a cup of tea.

“Hiya.” He smiled and pulled me into an embrace. 

“Hello, it’s nice to see you.” I responded, I was still a little sniffly from crying. I hope he won’t notice. 

“You too. Where’s Ben?” 

“Ah, he’s just getting ready. He hasn’t long been up. He’s bloody hungover.” I laughed. 

“I bet! It’s him and parties! How was it last night?” 

“Good thanks. Here’s your tea. Should we go sit down?” 

“Sure and thank you!” He beamed. I do like Tom, he can always cheer you up when you’re low. A bit like Ben can. 

“Your ‘Hamlet’ was brilliant. You were wonderful in it, you should be very proud.” 

“Thanks, Tom.” I blushed. 

“You’re very kind.” 

“I hope you get recognised for it.” 

“Hopefully.” I laughed. 

“Thank you.” Our eyes met for a moment, a little longer than normal. Our eye contact broke when we heard Ben’s voice fill the room. 

“Hey Tom! It’s great to see you!” He said. Tom stood up and they both hugged. 

“I made you a tea, honey.” I told him. 

“Thank you.” He kissed my head and sat opposite us both. 

“I was just telling Jodie how wonderful her performance in ‘Hamlet’ was. You were brilliant Benedict.” Gushed Tom. 

“Thanks, Tom. I agree, Jodie was wonderful. I’m very proud of her.” I was blushing even more now. 

“Excuse me for a moment.” I smiled. I headed off to the bathroom to come back and hear them speaking in low voices again, like I had once before. What was it about this time? 

“Any signs?” Tom asked. 

“No, none at all. Everything’s normal. She spoke to me this morning, she broke down and said she can’t have children. I told her we would be fine but we could get help if we really needed.” 

“Poor girl, how she must feel.” 

“I know, it’s horrible.” 

“It may be, but it is what it is.” I interrupted their conversation. 

“Jodie, hi!” Said Tom. 

“I’m sorry for telling, I just needed advice.” Ben said quickly. 

“It’s fine.” I replied simply. 

“I’m sure everything will work out in the end.” Tom’s voice was sympathetic. There was a silence in the room. 

“What if it’s me?” I swear it was Benedict who said it. I was right. 

“What if it’s me?” He asked again. 

“What on Earth are you talking about?” I asked. 

“What if the problem’s with me. Maybe that’s why you can’t conceive. What if I have fertility problems and you’re here blaming yourself?" 

“I’m sure there is nothing wrong with either of you.” Tom spoke kindly. “It’ll happen eventually, it might just take some time.” We both looked at him. 

“I caught on pretty damn quick last time.” I said. 

“Yes but it may be different this time.” He responded. 

“Let’s just forget about it for now.” Ben burst out. 

“Please.” He added, a little softer this time. We both nodded. 

“Thank you. Anyway, I need to nip out for a bit. Feel free to stay Tom.” 

“Oh, see you later then.” I was a little surprised but I didn’t mind. 

“Thanks see you later Ben.” Added Tom. 

“Goodbye both of you, see you later.” Benedict finished and kissed my lips before leaving.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! My laptop had broken so it paused my writing. Updated will be more frequent now I promise

Tom stayed for a short while longer after Benedict left. We joked around a little and just chatted. 

“I wonder why he left like that?” Tom said. 

“Who?” I was laughing from a previous conversation we’d had. 

“Ben.” He responded. 

“Oh, I have no idea.” 

“It was just odd, that’s all.” 

“I’m sure he’s fine, Tom.” I smiled. 

“Yeah you’re right. Anyway I best be off. See you soon.” 

“Bye, Tom.” We hugged and he kissed my cheek as a goodbye. Ben came back in about an hour, seeming quite frustrated. 

“Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, everything is fine.” He said bluntly. 

“Oh, alright.” It was getting rather late so I cooked us a carbonara, making sure Ben’s was vegan. Afterwards, we watched some telly and headed to bed. He was different tonight, quiet. I didn’t want to push him though.

The next morning, Ben was heading out to meet some friends. He seemed better this morning. He was gone not long after I woke, we had breakfast and then he left. I was reading my book when my phone vibrated. A text from Tom. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Tom  
Hey,  
This isn’t a good message I’m afraid. Read the article I’ve attached below. I’m so sorry you found out this way but I thought I’d tell you before anyone else did. I hope everything works out. Tom x  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

What’s he talking about? I best read what he’s sent me. I wish I didn’t. My heart shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. On my phone screen, there was a photo with the caption “ _Caught red handed! Benedict Cumberbatch photographed sharing a passionate kiss with a mystery woman!_ ” There was the picture. Of him kissing someone else. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. How could he betray me like this? What had I done wrong? I felt infuriated and upset all at once. How long had this been going on? I took a closer look at the woman. Then it hit me. That’s who was with him at the party. I can’t fucking believe this! Why the hell has he done this to me? I cried and cried as the pain of a broken heart set in. He’s supposed to love me how could he do this?

He came home about tea time. Acting as if everything is normal. How could he? I was sat on the sofa when he came in. 

“Hey, love. Good day?” Looking at him infuriated me. That’s it! 

“How’s your lady friend?” I snapped. 

“Who?” How can he do this?! Act confused, he knows full well who. 

“You know exactly who I mean.” I spat at him. 

“I truly don’t.” He said, calmer. 

“You sure? Cause that’s not what this fucking picture shows!” My words shocked him. A huge look of surprise washed across his face. 

“So, you’ve seen?” He said quietly. 

“Seen? Of course I’ve fucking seen it! It’s in the newspapers! What a brilliant way to find out!” 

“Please let me explain…." 

“What the hell is there to explain? You’re cheating on me! Nothing needs fucking explaining! You’re cheating and you come home and act like nothing’s happened and then when I asked you, you lied! What the hell did I do for you to do this for me hm? I thought you fucking loved me! You’re the same as everyone else I’ve ever met!” My face was red with anger and tears. 

“Please…” He was desperate. I didn’t care. 

“Is that all you have to say? Seriously? You’ve cheated on me and that’s all you have to say!” He was silent, tears beginning to run down his face. 

“Answer me this at least, who is she?” No reply. 

“WHO THE FUCK IS SHE BEN?! DON’T YOU THINK I DESERVE TO KNOW? CAUSE I THINK I DO!” Still no reply. 

“Fine.” I growled. 

“Why? Answer me that instead. I deserve at least a little respect.” I thought for a moment and then the penny dropped. 

“Ah, I see.” 

“What?” He asked, completely crying. His hands grabbing at his hair and his face also red from crying. 

“You’re getting out of her what you can’t get from me aren’t you?” 

“Which is?” 

“A kid! You’re fucking her, aren’t you?! AREN’T YOU?! I THOUGHT I MADE YOU HAPPY AND WE DIDN’T NEED CHILDREN? BULLSHIT! AFTER SAYING THAT YOU’RE NOW WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!” 

“No! What on Earth? How could you think that?” 

“How could I not?” I paused. 

“Good luck with it, I hope you both have a wonderful life together.” I stormed into the bedroom and packed some things into a bag. 

“Where… where are you going?” Benedict whimpered after seeing me come back into the room with a bag. 

“Anywhere that’s not with you!” I hissed. 

“Please… don’t go!” Ben grabbed my wrist. He was broken and seen him like this broke me. But I couldn’t forgive him, no matter how much I love him. Yes, I know I don’t know the full story but he isn’t exactly willing to talk. 

I broke free. “Why the hell not?” 

“Because, I love you.” 

“Don’t make me laugh!” I laughed sarcastically and slammed the front door behind me. I got into my car and put my bag in the passenger seat. I drove round aimlessly not knowing where to go. After driving round for half an hour, my brain concluded to see Tom. I have no idea why. I knew his address so I began driving there. I could hear my phone vibrating. Most likely Ben. Oh well. I really don’t want to speak to him right now. As I drove, the song ‘Don’t Speak’ came on by No Doubt and I couldn’t help but cry, the lyrics felt so true at the moment: 

‘ _You and me_  
_We used to be together_  
_Every day together always_  
_I really feel_  
_That I'm losing my best friend_  
_I can't believe_  
_This could be the end_  
_It looks as though you're letting go_  
_And if it's real_  
_Well I don't want to know_  
_Don't speak_  
_I know just what you're saying_  
_So please stop explaining_  
_Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_  
_Don't speak_  
_I know what you're thinking_  
_I don't need your reasons_  
_Don't tell me 'cause it hurts’_  
They reminded me of Ben for all the wrong reasons and it hurt so much.

I eventually pulled up at Tom’s and buzzed him. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Tom. It’s me Jodie.” 

“Oh hello. I take it things didn’t go too well?” 

“No.” I began crying again. 

“Come up.” I headed up and he let me in. I began crying as soon as I saw him. He pulled me into an embrace. 

“You want to talk about it?” He asked, handing me a cup of tea. 

“How could he do this to me Tom? After everything we’ve been through” I sobbed. 

“I don’t know, truly. I never knew he was like this. I’m sorry you got hurt.” 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“Did he tell you who?” 

“No.” 

“Why?” 

“No, he didn’t tell me anything. I think he’s fucking her so he can get that kid he’s always wanted.” 

“Hey, let’s not jump to conclusions, that won’t help you.” 

“You’re right.” 

“So are you together?” 

“No and won’t be until he explains and even then, we may not be.” 

“It’s such a shame for it to end this way.” Tom sighed. 

“Yes, well it’s his own fault.” Tom nodded in reply. 

“He was with the bitch the night of the party. She was all over him, I should’ve known. When I asked about her he told me she was no one. Yeah fucking no one!” I began to cry again. This time I couldn’t stop. The only man I had ever loved and he betrayed me. It hit me that I really couldn’t let him go. When Tom released me from the hug, I read his messages, all 6 of them and there was 8 missed calls. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
Jodie, please come home and let me explain please. I’m so sorry.  
Ben x  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
I’m sorry Jodie, please come home.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
I’m worried now, I don’t even know if you’re safe. Please come home or message me or anything I beg you!  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
I hope you’re safe x  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
Please come home so we can talk this through. I’ll tell you everything I swear!  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: Benedict  
I love you  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I’d calmed down, I thought it was a good idea to hear him out, get to the bottom of it all. 

“I’m gonna go hear him out." 

“That’s good of you. I’ll drive you if you like and I’ll wait in the car.” 

“Thanks Tom.” He did exactly as he said he would drove me back to Ben’s. On the way I thought about what I was going to do. Would I forgive him? Slap him? Or even suggest sleeping together for the last time? When we pulled up Tom turned and smiled. 

“Good luck try sort this!” He encouraged. 

“Thank you, I’ll try.” I headed up the lift in the apartment building and then made my way to his door and knocked. A shirtless Benedict answered. 

“Jodie! I’m so glad you’re back! Come in.” Before I had the chance to enter I heard another voice which didn’t belong to me or Benedict. 

“Ben, who’s here?” I glared at him and then that’s when I noticed. The lipstick marks on his lips, neck and chest. I dread to think where else they are. 

“Are you fucking serious?” I turned on my heels and stormed out of the apartment. When I got outside, I heard Ben’s voice behind me. 

“Jodie! Wait!” 

“Go back to that bitch!” I yelled. 

“I don’t want to! I want you!” Tom had noticed what was going on and was watching through the car window. 

“She was good enough a minute ago! She’s probably laid in our bed with her legs open, you best go slide yourself back between them!” I could see how my words caused him pain. 

“I just needed cheering up!” 

“You need cheering up? What about me? You’re not the one been cheated on!” I got into Tom’s car. 

“Take me away from him.” I sobbed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jodie takes time to cool off after Ben's betrayal.

I cried the whole way back to Tom’s place. Benedict had already hurt me but now he’s just made it a whole lot worse. A part of me wanted to get back at him somehow but I knew I was better than that. I couldn’t help but feel bad for him, been roped into this situation. I sat slumped beside him on his sofa. 

“I’m sorry Jodie. I hate that he’s hurt you. As much as he's my friend I don’t agree with what he’s done. Now he’s just made it worse. He has absolutely no right treating you that way.” Tom was giving me a sympathetic look. 

“Its okay Tom. Thank you for letting me stay.” 

“No need to thank me darling, it’s the least I could do. Tea?” 

“Please.” He nodded and disappeared off into the kitchen. Rain suddenly started pouring down outside and I watched it through the window. Whilst watching droplets fall down the window I lost myself in thought. I thought about how Ben changed my life and how we went through so much together. Now I’m sat here moping over the same man who’s now broke my heart.

I must’ve really been in a world of my own as Tom’s voice startled me when it filled the room. 

“Here’s your tea Jodie.” He must have noticed my jump. 

“Sorry for startling you.” He appeared beside me and handed me the hot tea. 

“Thank you." 

“Soothing isn’t it?” He asked. 

“Hmm?" 

“The rain. Sometimes I find looking out the window watching the rain and hearing it patter on the ground rather relaxing when I’m going through a stressful time.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve just been doing.” I sighed. I felt Tom's arm around me, most likely an effort to comfort me so I turned and met his eyes. He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips and back to my eyes. He just didn’t seem to want to break this moment between us.

“Jodie, I-” Tom started but was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. 

“Sorry it’s Holly. Just going to get this, back in a sec.” He nodded. 

“Hi Jodie.” Holly’s voice came across glum over the phone. 

“Hey.” 

“Are you alright? I read about-" 

“Who hasn’t read about it?” I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m sure I’ll be fine eventually.” I sighed again. 

“Have you got somewhere to stay? I don’t want you stranded when it’s pouring with rain. You can come to mine if you like?” 

“Thank you for the offer Holly but I’m at Tom's place.” 

“Oh.” She sounds surprised. 

“Is he there?” 

“Of course he is you sausage, how else would I have got in?” I laughed. I could see Tom try to hold his laughter in too. 

“Oh yeah, silly me. Anyway I’m glad you’re somewhere dry. Tell Tom I said hello and I’ll see you soon.” 

“Holly says hi Tom.” I turned to him. 

“Hello darling!” He called. Holly burst into laughter. 

“See you later Jodie.” 

“See you.” Holly hung up. 

“She’s a funny one.” Tom chuckled. 

“She is.” I grinned.

I finished my tea and flopped onto the sofa again. It’s so comfy. I shut my eyes and I could hear Tom moving about the room. When I opened my eyes I caught him gazing at me softly. 

“Something on my face?” I laughed. 

“Oh, sorry.” He laughed awkwardly. His gaze shifted away from me and he pretended to look at something else in the room. Strange, a man who is usually so confident is acting incredibly awkward. 

“Tom....” I began. 

“Yes?” He turned back around slowly and met my eyes again. 

“Are you OK?” I asked. 

“I’m fine.” He smiled trying to put on a false display of happiness. Trying to use his acting on me. It’s not working. 

“You can talk to me Tom. Even when I have issues of my own I’m happy to listen.” I smiled softly. 

“Well, alright.” He shifted in his seat. 

“There is something I’ve been wanting to tell you.” I'd never seen Tom Hiddleston so awkward. 

“Alright.” There was a silent moment between us and our eyes met. That’s when it sank in. The way he was looking at me and how long for. It all makes sense. 

“Tom, this thing you want to tell me...” 

“Yes?” He replied. 

“Is it about your feelings for me?” Tom looked stunned for a moment, not sure on what to say. 

“Yes, yes it is.” He stuttered. I smiled at him in encouragement 

“So?” 

“I’ve liked you for a while. Since I first met you to be exact. I was going to ask you but I saw how smitten Ben was. I’d never seen him so crazy about someone before. The way he spoke about you, it was like you were everything. So I pushed my own feelings aside and encouraged him to go for you. I thought I’d move on from you. But I can’t. Every time I see you I feel uplifted. I really like you Jodie.” Now it was my turn to be stunned. He likes me and has for so long? This is so surreal. It was crazy having Benedict like me, well I thought he did, but Tom too? This is mad. 

“Tom...I....” 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said all that, not now after everything with-" He was interrupted by my lips meeting his. He groaned from surprise. 

“Its okay.” I whispered, resting my forehead on his. I didn’t really care about the consequences of this right now or if it hurt Ben or not. He hurt me and right now, he’s probably keeping his new friend warm in this weather. Tom leaned back towards me and I could feel that delightful ginger beard prickling my skin. I placed myself on his lap as the kiss deepened. My hand found it’s way to his long, curly, ginger hair and tugged lightly I must’ve found something he liked with the groan I was awarded with. 

“Please do that again.” He whispered in my ear. I wasn't wrong. 

“This?” I smiled against his lips and chuckled when he groaned again. 

“Mmm. Yes that.” I could feel the excitement growing in his pants. Soon enough we found ourselves undressed in his bed. Tom was laid on top of me, kissing wildly when he paused and gave me a serious look. 

“Jodie, are you sure about this? I’m happy to if you are but if you were to sort things out with Ben this would make it difficult for us all. Not only that but you could come to regret this in the morning and I don’t want that for you.” I knew he was right about the Ben thing, though it’s highly unlikely I’ll be getting back with him. Plus, this could fuck things up for the two of them. 

“Tom, it’s alright I promise.” I smiled up at him and he smiled back. He couldn’t have looked happier. I’d not even realised the heavy rain had turned into a storm until now. I’d been too occupied. 

“Well in that case.” And a huge grin spread across his face. Tom is a very gentle and sweet lover. He likes to take his time and appreciate the moment and right now it’s what I needed. I needed someone to make me feel special after been tossed to the side like a piece of garbage. Tom was just the person. He just made me forget all of my problems and I was able to just focus on him. As he made love to me, waves of pleasure washed through me. Tom's head was buried in my neck which he was moaning into and I had my hand in his curls. I could feel his hot breath on my skin and it was an incredible feeling. A few short moments and I was a mess beneath him and it didn’t take him long to follow. He cried my name and gripped the pillow space beside me tight in his hands. He kissed my head gently before smiling at me and gently climbing off me. Tonight I’d seen a side to Tom I never thought I’d see but, if I’m been honest I’m glad I have.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to stop doing chapter summaries as it avoids giving anything away. Hope you all don't mind :)

I felt the early morning rays falling gently on my face as I stretched myself out. I saw that I was in an unfamiliar room. Tom’s room. I turned and there he was sleeping soundly beside me. His hair was dishevelled and the light was landing softly on his features. Tom's blue eyes flickered open and immediately found mine He greeted me with a bright smile.

“Morning gorgeous.” Tom pulled me closer to him.

“Good morning.” I was met with a wonderful, gentle kiss and hummed happily in response.

“Breakfast?” He asked.

“Sounds wonderful.” I giggled. Tom slid out of bed and took his glasses from the night stand. He pulled some grey jogging bottoms and a blue t-shirt on and padded out of the room. It wasn’t long before I could hear him singing whilst he made breakfast and I couldn’t help but giggle. He sings perfectly. After listening to Tom for a few moments, (even though I could listen forever) I concluded on getting a shower and joining him in the kitchen. Thankfully, I’d brought a bag with me so I was able to have clean clothes and underwear. When I was ready, I joined Tom in the kitchen. He didn’t seem to hear me come in so I wrapped my arms around him from behind. I would’ve kissed his neck but he was too damn tall. He froze for a moment at the surprise of my touch but soon turned to face me.

“You made me jump.” He chuckled lightly.

“I heard you singing.” I smiled at him.

Tom looked embarrassed but then laughed it off “Oh God, you didn't?”

“Mmmhmmm” I responded.

“Well may I apologise for my terrible singing.” He apologises so much even for things he doesn’t need to, he’s so sweet.

“No need to apologise, I enjoyed it.” Tom leaned down and kissed me softly.

“Time for breakfast.” He whispered.

“Good cause I can smell bacon.” I laughed. Tom served breakfast and we ate happily. Things were perfectly normal. It’s not like we had slept together at all. After breakfast, I helped Tom clear up and he headed off for a shower. I relaxed on the sofa for a little, scrolling my phone until there was a knock at the door. Seems like Tom heard it too.

“Could you see who it is for me? I’ll be out in a minute.” I obliged and opened the door. I was about to relay Tom’s message when I found my words stuck in my throat. Benedict was stood at the door.

 

“Tom... will be out in a moment.” I managed to get out.

“I’m here to see you.” I was floored even more.

“You best come in.” I said. I moved from the door so he could come into the room. Just at that moment Tom came out and saw who was stood in his living room and he immediately looked at me and looked slightly panicked.

“Benedict, hi!” Tom greeted him.

“Tom.” He nodded his head in Tom’s direction.

“So why are you here Ben? What do you want from me?” I asked sternly.

“I’ve come to explain everything.” He whispered. 

“I’ll give you both privacy. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Tom announced. He walked past me, his head down making eye contact on the way past. This must be hard for him. Confessing his feelings, sleeping with me and then my ex shows up at his door the following morning. 

“Thanks Tom.” I smiled gently. 

“We shouldn’t be too long.” This time I glared at Ben. Tom shuffled off and Ben and I were alone. I knew exactly what my first question was. 

“What do you want?” I folded my arms and stared at him. He shifted in his spot for a moment.

“I’ve just told you, I've come to sort things out and hopefully things can go back to how they were.” I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“You think you can just waltz in here after breaking my heart and then assume things can just be back how they were. I thought you were smarter than that, Cumberbatch.” I snarled at him and I cannot believe what I’m hearing.

“Just let me explain Jodie please!” He was pleading now. Good.

“I gave you plenty of opportunity to explain yesterday but you decided to stand there and lie! You should’ve done it when you had the chance!” I’m pretty sure Tom could hear my shouting.

“Lets not do this in Tom’s apartment, let’s go home.” 

“I’m not going anywhere with you so don’t think for one second that I am!” The thing I hated about this was I still found him stupidly attractive and I knew I still loved him, deep down. 

“Guys, please.” Tom's voice entered the room. “Let’s not shout. It’s not going to get us anywhere. Jodie I know it hurts but let’s all sit down and discuss it like grown ups okay?” Ben and I nodded. 

“Apologies Tom.” I responded.

“No worries Jodie. Now, who wants a cup of tea. He beamed.

“Typical Tom.” I chuckled. He disappeared to make us all some tea. Benedict and I were silent whilst he was gone. I knew he was looking at me but I didn’t return it. Tom came back a few short moments later and handed us out tea.

“Thank you Tom.” I nodded gratefully.  
“Thank you.” Ben added. Tom sat himself across from me and next to Ben and we both looked at him expectantly.

 

“So?” I said finally. 

“She’s someone I’ve known for a while. We met a couple of years ago on a project. Mia Hampton. We had a brief history.”

“Now you decide to tell me.” I huffed. Tom stayed silent and just listened. 

“What exactly does ‘brief history’ entail?” 

“By that I mean we weren’t really serious, we just fooled around for a while. But she wanted more, she became too attached and originally we agreed it was just if one of us were bored or whatever. No strings and either of us could cut it off when needed. Not the best idea I know.” He must have seen the disapproval that had spread across my face. 

“Anyway I cut it off a while ago and we hadn't seen each other in a few years. I'd had texts, but I never responded. The night of that party was the first time I’d seen her since breaking things off and she was immediately back to her old self. She asked me to come back ecetera and I explained I was with someone. She was pretty upset and left me alone for a while. Until I was drunk. She saw that I was pissed and came over when I was outside getting fresh air. She kissed me and I had no time to respond. When you came out it was shortly after it happened.” What he’d said hit me like a tonne of bricks. He may have explained himself but I was still angry. 

“So let me get this straight, you fooled around with a woman and decided not to tell me she was still sniffing round you? What made you think that was a good idea? You could’ve blocked her.” I didn’t even bother raising my voice.

“Jodie let’s not keep Tom hanging around and discuss this somewhere else.”

“I’ve already said I’m not going anywhere with you. Secondly, maybe Tom would like to know what his friend is truly like!”

“Tom knew about Mia!” His words shocked me. My eyes went from Ben to Tom for a moment and our eyes met before he looked away. This just gets better.

“Your explanation still doesn’t explain why you had your tongue down her throat the other day! You weren’t drunk then were you?” I raised my voice a little but not too much.

“You haven’t gave me the chance, that’s why.” Ben mumbled.

“Please continue.” I flopped back onto the sofa, losing the will to live. Ben sighed and continued his epic saga of him cheating on me. I'm being sarcastic I know. They knew too. 

“What you saw, that’s the day Tom had come round and I had gone out. I’d gone to see her. Not for what you think, it was to tell her to back off. She had text me that morning saying it was lovely to kiss me again and she wanted to see me. I went to see her but not for she wanted. I had told her to leave me and you alone and she seemed like she was listening.” 

“So how'd you end up snogging each other’s faces off?” I asked irritably.

“We were aware of cameras near us and she took advantage. She pulled me in before I had chance to react, knowing you would see it. I knew you would too and I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how. Oh Jodie I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt you.” 

Ben buried his face in his hands. Tom looked shocked at what he had heard. So was I. If he is telling the truth I had blown everything out of proportion and now I felt really stupid. There was still a nagging feeling inside me that something wasn't right. He could have easily pushed her away if he wanted to.

Out of kindness, I headed over to Ben and gave him a hug.

“As much as I believe you, I can't forgive you. Not yet. It still hurts. I do love you but I need time.”

“It's alright, I understand entirely.” Ben smiled weakly. There's still one thing I need to know.

“Last night, did you sleep with her?”

“No I didn't. I realised my mistake after you came over." Guilt hit me like a truck and part of me wanted to tell him now but I couldn't.

“Anyway, I best be off. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will thank you.” I smiled back. 

“See you around.”

“Yeah see you. Bye Tom.” They hugged each other.

“Look after her won't you?”

“Of course." Tom reassured. Ben turned and left leaving me and Tom alone once more.


	18. Chapter 18

“Well I best start sorting somewhere to stay.” I said. 

“Don't be silly you can stay with me.” Tom smiled. 

“Are you sure?” I don't want to over stay my welcome.” Tom suddenly closed the gap between us, his body pressing on mine. 

“Of course I am.” He whispered. 

“I want you to stay.” Tom brought a finger under my chin and tilted my face up towards his own. 

“Alright, but only for a few days.” I replied softly. 

“If you insist.” A huge smile spread across his face until his lips met with mine. It was as if a jolt of electric shot through me when he kissed me. His tongue slipped into my mouth and a soft moan escaped me followed by a chuckle from Tom. 

“She likes that.” He smiled against my mouth and then buried his face in my neck. I pulled on his hair in an effort to release some pleasure. 

“And he likes that.” I grinned. 

“I do. Come here.” I squealed as he lifted me off the ground. His hands resting on my behind and squeezing softly. 

“Where are we going?” I chuckled. “Oh, I think you know after pulling my hair like that.” 

“You mean like this Hiddleston?” My hand buried itself in his hair and tugged lightly. 

“Behave yourself.” He tapped my behind and dropped me onto his bed. 

“Oh you don't mean that.” I responded in what I hoped was a seductive voice. Tom came crashing towards me and his lips met mine again. We were soon undressed and Tom trailed kisses all down my body. Feeling his hot lips against my skin was heaven. I probably shouldn't be doing this until I decide on what to do about Ben and now Tom. I do still love Ben but he cheated and I find myself caring for Tom more and more every minute I spent with him. He is passionate, kind, sweet. Anything you could ask for. However, I thought Ben was this way but that turned sour. I do feel something is different with Tom but I must still tread carefully. 

Right now, my only focus was Tom and what he was doing. His mouth was on my centre, causing my toes to clench and my hips to bolt upwards. Tom's hands quickly but gently pushed my hips down, his tight grip keeping me in place. My reaction had gained a chuckle from him. He brought his head back to rest on mine, planting a kiss on my forehead before pushing himself into me. 

A gasp escaped me and Tom groaned loudly. As he thrusted into me, I sucked on his Adam's apple and pulled on his ginger curls, his groans becoming wilder in turn. 

“Oh God, Jodie. To be making love to you again is the greatest thing on this Earth.” I started to giggle which caused Tom to give me a confused look. 

“What are you chuckling at?” 

“Just the way you said that, you sounded like you've just stepped out of a Shakespeare play.” Tom now joined me at laughing at what he said. 

“Sorry!” 

“It's fine" As he chuckled, I couldn't help but notice how good he felt when he was laughing whilst inside me. 

“Anyway where were we?” A devilish grin spreading across his face. 

I was in the midst of re dressing when Tom came back from showering. 

“Any plans with the rest of your day?” He enquired. I watched him as he buttoned a light blue shirt and pulled on some black jeans. 

“Yeah, actually. I'm going to go see Holly for a while. You know girls catch up and whatnot?” 

“Girl's chat eh? Don't tell her too much.” Tom gave me a quick wink. 

“Oh, I would never!” I made sure to be over dramatic towards the end. I knew that was a complete lie. 

“That's my girl. Would you like me to drive you?” 

“Sure, Holly will probably be more thrilled to see you than me.” I laughed. 

“And why’s that?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“I think you know.” I shot him a look. 

“Ah I see.” He smiled. “You ready?” 

“When you are.” On the way to Holly's, a question popped back into my head. 

“Tom.” 

“Hm?” 

“Why didn't you tell me about Mia?" 

“I was going to but he promised he'd tell you when I asked him about it. If I knew he had kept tight lipped I would have told you.” 

“So what’s the deal with them?” 

“As he said, it was if one of them were bored or whatever. I told him it was inadvisable. Things like that always become complicated. He didn't listen and fell for her charm or whatever it was he saw and now things are messy.” 

“I'm not going to have any of that rubbish with you am I?” I joked. 

“I couldn’t ever do that.” He smiled softly. It was the smile that filled his eyes, the most beautiful of smiles. 

“Good.” Even though we were joking I couldn't help but feel relieved by his words. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to put my whole trust in Tom and not get hurt.


	19. Chapter 19

We arrived at Holly's shortly afterwards. 

“I'll let you do the honours.” I teased him, fully aware of how Holly would react. It was for my own personal entertainment really. Tom pressed the button for Holly's flat and her voice came through the speaker. 

“Hey, who is it?” 

“Hi, it's Tom.” You could hear Holly do a sharp intake of breath and Tom looked at me. We both put in our best efforts not to laugh. 

“Ah, hello Tom.” She sounded collected. 

“Yeah Jodie's come to see you.” 

“Both of you do come up.” 

“Looks like I've been invited to join you.” He seemed almost proud of himself. 

“Of course you are!” I laughed. We headed up and I tapped on her door to be greeted by an excited and rather surprised Holly. 

“Do come in.” She smiled. 

“I'll make some tea, you guys make yourself at home." While she disappeared off to the kitchen, Tom and I got ourselves comfortable on her sofa. 

“Here we go.” Tea was placed in front of each of us and we sipped quietly until Holly decided to address the elephant in the room. 

“Ben?” She asked. It may have been brief but I knew what she meant. 

“He came over to Tom's this morning to explain and as much as I care for him, I am not able to forgive him just yet.” I then explained the whole episode with Ben this morning. Tom was so quiet you wouldn't even know he was there. 

“It's a shame about him really.” Holly sighed. 

“Yeah, I'm letting her stay with me for a couple of days.” Tom finally broke his silence. 

“Ah you're looking after her then?” Holly chuckled. 

“Of course you are you're Tom Hiddleston, you're nice to everyone.” I could feel my cheeks become flushed with red as I knew how well he'd really looked after me. 

“Are you alright Jodie? You’ve gone bright red.” 

“Yeah I'm fine.” Tom knew exactly why I had turned into a tomato and he was trying to hold a giggle in. 

“On a serious note Tom, if you ever need space she can come and stay with me.” Holly offered. 

“Thanks Holly.” I smiled gratefully. We chatted for a while and Tom was constantly making us laugh. Our conversation was disturbed by the ringing of a phone. 

“Really sorry I'll be back soon, I've got to take this.” Tom had a regretful look on his face. 

“It's fine Tom.” I smiled and he went to take his call. 

“You two seem close.” Holly had a slight tone of accusation in her voice. 

“Yeah we've been good mates for a while. I'm surprised you managed to compose yourself around him.” I joked, trying to change the subject. 

“It's hard cause of how gorgeous and charming he is, but I'm managing. Anyway, back to the matter at hand.” 

“What matter?” I laughed it off casually. 

“I've seen the way he looks at you.” She lowered her voice. Even I hadn't noticed Tom gazing at me. Although Holly doesn't miss a thing. 

“What's going on?” She asked, slightly excited in anticipation of what she was going to hear. 

“He likes me that’s all. He told me last night.” I then told her what Tom had told me about his feelings. 

“Aw poor guy. Liking you for all that time but couldn't have you. Do you like him?” 

“I do but I still love Ben.” 

“But he hurt you.” 

“I know and I find myself falling for Tom more and more the longer I spend with him.” 

“Well see how things go with Tom these next few days.” 

“They're already going pretty well.” I couldn't stop a smile spreading on my face. 

“What do you mean?” 

“We slept together.” 

Holly’s jaw dropped open for a moment. 

“No way! When?” 

“Shhhh he will hear you and we've done it twice. Last night after he told me his feelings and this morning when Ben left.” 

“Does Ben know?” 

“No.” 

“I mean, I guess he doesn't have to since you aren't together. But Tom is his best friend and with Tom been as nice as he is, he may feel like he has to be honest with his best friend and tell him.” 

“True.” I sighed. 

“Did you both use protection?” She asked bluntly. The realisation then hit me. 

“No, no we didn't.” 

“Oh my God what happens if you catch on?” 

“I doubt that.” I replied in a slightly defeated tone. 

“Why?” 

“You know why.” 

“Oh yes. Well, it might just take a little longer.” She said sympathetically. 

“That's what Tom said.” 

“He knows?” 

“Yeah because Ben ran his mouth off without asking me.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Suppose it doesn't matter now though.” 

“I still can’t believe he fucked you! What's he like?” 

“Seriously Holly?” I chuckled. 

“Yeah seriously.” 

“Well he knows how to treat a woman.” I winked and then we both burst into laughter.


	20. Chapter 20

“What are you two giggling at?” Tom surprised us as we didn't hear him enter the room. 

“Nothing.” We now tried to suppress our laughter. 

“Alright.” He smiled and judging by the wink he gave me he knew what we were discussing. 

“How long have you been stood there?” I asked. 

“Not long, you were both laughing when I came back.” I couldn't help but feel relieved since I'd just embarrassed him. Holly was having an impossible time keeping in her laughter. 

“So Tom-” I nudged her in the side and shot her a stern look as I knew she was about to snitch on me. 

“How are you doing? How's work?” Nice recovery Holly. 

“It's very good thank you. How are things for you, darling?” I could see her trying not to faint at the word 'darling'. I mean, I'm not much better but I've slept with him so I'm a bit more resilient. 

“It's good.” She smiled. Watching Holly trying to act normal was hilarious to say the least. 

Back in Tom's apartment, he's instantly got himself busy in the kitchen. I headed in to offer my services. 

“Can I help?” 

“Nope not at all. Go get yourself comfy.” 

“If you insist.” I crept up behind him and tried to plant a kiss on the back of his neck, I was unsuccessful. 

“Why do you have to be so damn tall Tom?” 

“Gotta bring it as a God, you know.” He laughed and turned to face me, crouching a little. 

“Is this better?” He was teasing me now. 

“Very funny, Thomas.” I was suddenly lifted off the ground and placed on an empty countertop. 

“Nobody calls me Thomas. Are we clear?” Tom growled, his face so close I could feel his breath. His lips crashed onto mine and I sighed into his mouth. Kissing him again had made me realise how much I had longed for him. 

“We're clear.” I breathed. 

“Good.” Sexy Tom had gone and smiley Tom was back. 

“Now off you pop.” I gave him a salute and shuffled out of the kitchen. I was called in a while later. 

“Something smells really good.” 

“Beef Bourguignon” Tom replied looking rather proud of himself. He was pouring red wine into two glasses as I sat myself down. 

“Oh my God this is amazing.” I exclaimed after my first taste. 

“Thank you.” Afterwards, I tried helping with cleaning up but he hadn't let me do that either. 

“Go and pop your pyjamas on, we have a film to watch.” I skipped off to the bedroom which was much Tom's amusement. 

“How old are you, five?” 

“Be quiet Hiddles.” I laughed. He tutted at me for his name and then carried on with his cleaning. I put my black and white polka dot pyjamas on and tied my hair into a messy bun. 

“I'm liking the bed time look.” He grinned, joining me on the sofa “Those pyjamas are cute.” 

“Thanks.” I laughed. We curled up together and watched ‘Love Actually’ a film I love. Some point in the middle of the film, Tom nuzzled into my hair. I don't know if he was aware but I wasn’t  going to complain. He'd fallen asleep just before the film ended. I watched him for a while sleeping like a baby. He looks young for 36 but when he is sleeping, more years are stripped away. 

As I watched him, something in my head told me this was something I could get used to. Being able to see him like this made me content and the truth is, if I were to lose him it would kill me. All this time together is drawing me in more and more and I find myself falling in love with him further each day. Question is: who do I love more? Benedict and I had been through so much together and I thought we were for each other and he ended up hurting me but Tom had always been there. Whenever something was wrong or when Ben cheated, he immediately offered his comfort. He was someone I could always count on. 

I woke Tom gently as I couldn't leave him on the sofa and have no chance of carrying him to bed. 

“Tom, let's go to bed.” I whispered softly. He didn't budge so I leaned a little further into his ear. 

“Hey sleepy, bed time.” I placed a kiss on his forehead, finally causing him to stir. One of his long arms pulled me toward him and onto his lap and stayed around my waist. I gently rested my head on his shoulder. 

“Are you awake?” 

“Mmm" He uttered. Half asleep. 

“Let's go to bed.” 

“Jodie?” He pulled me in tighter. 

“Yes?” 

“I love you.” I was pleasantly surprised at what I'd heard. Did he realise he had said it and if so how much does he mean it? My heart was pounding against my chest and I could hear his beating softly. 

“I know.” I replied. Probably not the best response but I'm not ready to return that yet His eyes flickered open and I was met with his blue irises. 

“Good, because I mean it, truly.” My heart started to beat even faster which I didn't even realise was possible. 

“Tom....” I brought my face to his and his chin tilted upwards so he could meet my lips. His soft, warm and gentle lips kissed me lovingly and butterflies spread in my stomach. He placed his free hand on the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. These kisses weren't sexual they were a display of love. Just Tom and I making out in the dark of his living room. I pulled away slowly, keeping my forehead on his. 

“Let's get some sleep.” Tom nodded slightly and I climbed off his lap, standing up and offering him my hand. He took it and I lead him back to the bedroom. I let him lay in bed and get himself comfortable before tucking him up in his duvet and kissing his cheek. I climbed in carefully beside him and burrowed myself into his chest, his beautiful scent filling my nose.


	21. Chapter 21

I awoke to gentle kisses been dotted along my face and neck. 

“Good morning.” Tom smiled at me, his beautiful blue eyes twinkling too. In response I pulled him in for a kiss. 

“Good morning. You know how to wake a lady.” My smile against his lips. 

“As you do a man.” So he does remember last night. 

“Especially me.” He ended his sentence with another kiss. 

“As much as I'd like to stay here with you, we should start the day.” I said, stretching. 

“You're right I do have somewhere to be. Come on then!” He tapped my behind and we climbed out of bed. 

“I'm going for a shower. 

“Can I come with you?” He winked at me and I rolled my eyes. 

“Behave.” He came and stood in front of me, giving me puppy eyes. Damn you Hiddleston and you’re adorable blue puppy eyes. 

“Fine.” I couldn't hold back a smile. 

“Don't go distracting me okay?” I knew that just having him naked in front of me would be a distraction. 

“Oh, you don't have to worry about me. I think it's you we will have the problem with.” He wasn't wrong, I'd find it very hard to keep my hands off. We managed to behave ourselves in the shower, I washed his ginger curls and his toned body and he did the same. 

Afterwards we had breakfast and it was time for Tom to go. 

“I won't be too long.” He said, bending to give me a kiss. 

“Okay I'll see you later.” 

**TOM’S POV:**

I climbed in the car and began making my way to Ben's apartment for one of the most difficult things I'd ever have to do. I never thought I'd be telling my best friend I had been sleeping with his ex. I knew there was a couple of ways the conversation could go. He’d either remain calm and we would talk things out or he'd be pissed about it, which I feel is the most likely option. I tried thinking of how to break it to him but I still didn't know when I pulled up in front of his apartment building. I still had to face Jodie when I got back as we hadn't exactly discussed when we were telling him. I have to be honest with him though, he's my best friend, even though I could lose him after this. 

I knocked on Ben's door and he seemed pleased to see me. 

“Hi Tom, good to see you.” He smiled. He was a still a little down as he was dealing with Jodie's and his situation but seemed mainly positive. 

“Hey, this is just a quick visit I'm afraid.” I could feel myself getting more nervous as the moment drew ever closer. 

“Alright. Come in and get yourself comfortable.” I followed him in and sat opposite him. 

“Okay, I'll just get straight to the point. Ben, I have something to tell you." 

"Yeah? Well don't hold back then.” He laughed. My heart began to race as I knew what my next words were going to be. Here goes. 

"I got with Jodie." There was a pause as he tried to figure out what I meant. 

"What do you mean you ‘got’ with Jodie?" He raised an eyebrow at me. 

"We slept together. Look, it was a heat of the moment thing-" 

Ben cut me off. "Excuse me?!" I could see that a switch had flipped inside him and he was pissed. Really pissed. 

"And I never meant to hurt you I swear it! I just - fuck! - it happened and I know it's not right but I love her!" I continued as best I could. Confessing my love for her and telling him I slept with Jodie in one conversation was probably a big mistake. But it was the truth and I came to be nothing but honest. 

"Are you fucking serious right now? You come here into my house -" He'd started to get up on his feet and I followed so I could be ready for whatever his next move would be. 

"Because you deserve to know!" I raised my voice back at him. 

"You're supposed to be my friend, Tom! I fucking trusted you!" Ben's hands connected with my chest as he shoved me. I raised my hands out of the way and began backing my way towards the door. 

"I know and I'm sorry!" I pleaded. Another pause. 

"Get the hell out of my house." 

"Ben-" 

"I said get out! Stay the hell away from me, you hear?” Another shove, harder this time. I was out of the apartment now. I could see that Ben had calmed himself a little, probably so he didn't punch me. 

“I can't even look at you right now. The thought of you two … Just - just get the fuck away from me." He shut the door and I was left stood in the hallway outside of his apartment. I took a moment to calm myself down before heading to the car. Part of me was relieved he knew as it took weight off my shoulders but the rest of me knew everything was messed up and would be for a long time.


	22. Chapter 22

Tom returned about an hour and a half later looking pretty upset. He hadn't said anything when he came through the door but just flopped defeated on the sofa as I had done when I found out Ben had cheated. That's how I knew something was wrong, it was rare for Tom to not say ‘hello’ when he came through the door. 

“What's the matter Tom?” I asked softly. 

“Well I've just been over to Ben's.” He sighed. 

“Okay, what happened?” Tom took a deep breath. 

“I told him about us and he got pretty mad.” I started to panic as I knew there was a chance Ben could've hurt him. 

“Oh my God! Did he hit you!? Where did he hit you!? Are you alright!?” The words rushed out of my mouth as I suddenly became protective over Tom. 

“Jodie calm down.” He said, gently removing my hands from him which were checking for injuries. 

“I'm alright, he didn't hurt me. He shoved me a few times that's all.” Tom then continued to tell me the conversation between himself and Ben. 

“You told him you loved me?” He nodded slowly. 

“Oh, Tom.” I pulled him into a hug to comfort him. He'd just done one of the most difficult things and I hadn't been there to help him and now he had lost his best friend all because I encouraged him to sleep with me. 

“I'm so sorry, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have kissed you that night or encouraged you to jump into bed with me.” 

“Hey, don't apologise for that, I'm glad we've done that together, it was one of the best things I could ask for and I don't regret it one bit.” He held eye contact with me the whole time and I started to cry as his words were so touching to me. 

“You're so sweet.” I smiled, wiping my eyes. 

“I do try.” Tom laughed. “Now stop crying.” He began tickling anywhere he could get a hold of as I did my best to wiggle away. 

“Get off me!” I shouted, trying to push him off. 

“Give me a kiss then.” He smiled. I'd never seem him so proud of himself. 

“No.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he began tickling me again. It was becoming unbearable. 

“Let me go you big oath! You can have your kiss if you stop.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” He let me go and I pouted at him. “I hate you sometimes.” 

“You don't mean that.” He laughed. I folded my arms and turned away from him in an effort to prove my point. 

“Aw we're sulking now?” He teased, laying his head on my lap. 

“You're a pain in the ass you know that?” 

“I know.” Tom grinned proudly. 

“If I kiss you will you stop tormenting me?” 

“That's the general idea.” He chuckled. Tom sat up and brought his face close to mine. I planted a brief kiss on his lips and he raised an eyebrow at me in return. 

“Is that all I get?” 

“You're a pest.” I sighed and sat myself on his lap. 

“Well, hello.” He winked. 

“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes and pressed another kiss to his lips. He pulled me closer to him and brought one hand to the back of my neck, the other arm snaked around my waist. I buried one of mine in his hair and cupped his face with the other, much to his pleasure. 

“This is better.” He smiled against my lips. I nudged my knee into his leg in an effort to shut him up. 

“Even better with your hand in my hair.” I tugged lightly and a groan escaped him. 

“You know what happens when you pull my hair.” He tapped my behind and I stood up to be suddenly picked up and carried towards the nearest wall. He pushed me against it and kissed me wildly, undoing his trousers with his hands. He picked me up and pressed me against the wall, moving the fabric of my dress out the way before pushing himself inside me. We both moaned as he thrusted hard into me. 

“You've gone Jonathan Pine on me.” I chuckled. 

“Stop distracting me.” He growled, pushing himself deeper. The past few times with him was slow and gentle. This one was rough and hard, but I wasn't complaining. He had buried his face into my neck, sucking on it between moans. A few thrusts later, his breath hitched and he did one large thrust into me. A huge groan escaped him and he stood panting for a few moments before putting me down. I could feel a tingle on my neck where he was sucking before. 

“Tom, you've given me a love bite.” I went to look at it in the bathroom mirror. 

“That’s huge! How the hell am I supposed to cover that up?” 

“Sorry I got carried away.” Tom had appeared behind me. 

“Let me help you clear it up.” He placed his fingers on my neck and massaged the area around the love bite for a few minutes. 

“Now go pop a cold spoon on it and if that doesn't help then use a hot flannel.” 

“Do I even want to ask how you know this stuff?” I laughed. 

“I've been doing this for years, remember.” 

“What, giving women love bites?” 

“You know exactly what I mean. Now, cold spoon.” I nodded my head and made my way to the kitchen, taking a spoon from the one of the drawers when I got there. 

I ran it under the cold tap and then placed it on my neck. How cold the spoon was surprised me and made me jump in shock. Tom was stood in the door way finding the whole affair hilarious. 

“This is your fault.” I glared at him. 

“I know.” He replied and then turned and sauntered off. Tom can be a little shit sometimes, but it's why I like him. I followed him in and sat beside him. 

“We should've discussed telling him before you went over or I could have at least come with you.” 

“No you didn't need to come. Besides, he may have called you horrible things and you don't deserve that.” He paused for a moment. 

“Have you heard from him at all?” 

“No, not a word.” 

“Okay. Now how about some dinner?”


	23. Chapter 23

I'd arranged to meet Holly today to fill her in on the latest event. I climbed out of bed and went to check my love bite in the mirror, the bathroom floor cold against my bare feet. 

“How's it looking?” My whole body jumped to the reaction of Tom's voice behind me. 

“I didn't know you were awake.” I said, my heart still racing. 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump like that.” 

“It's okay and in response to your question, its faded but not a lot.” 

“I'll help you cover it up if you like?” 

“I'm sure I'll be fine but thank you.” “Right, I'll go do breakfast.” He turned out of the bathroom. I washed myself and then set myself to work on covering my bite. I hoped my efforts had worked so I could avoid embarrassment. 

I put on a black, low-cut, v-neck top with long sleeves with a pair of blue jeans and black boots which ended just below the knee with a small heel. I kept my hair down so it would cover my poorly hidden love bite and I was done just in time for breakfast. 

I walked into the kitchen and Tom paused what he was doing and the way he looked at me screamed ‘undressing you with my eyes.' 

“Oh, I'm liking this look.” He smiled. 

“Why thank you.” He finished up dishing out breakfast and after we ate, I touched up my pink lipstick. 

“Before I go, how does it look?” I pulled my hair out of the way and showed him my covering efforts. 

“It looks fine. Now go enjoy yourself.” He smiled down at me and then planted a kiss on my cheek. 

“And remember, I love you.” 

“I know.” I smiled. “Now I'll see you later.” 

“See you later.” I turned and headed out of the door. Whenever he told me he loves me, I get a surge of butterflies and my feelings are becoming stronger every day for Tom. I forget the pain Ben caused me when I’m around him because he's so happy and positive and it rubs off on me. 

Holly and I met in our usual café and she was there before me as always. 

“Hey.” She waved at me from her table by the window. 

“Hi.” I responded whilst sitting down. 

“No Tom?” 

“Nice to know you've missed him more than me.” I laughed. 

“So how are things going?” 

“Well Ben knows.” I sighed. 

“What that you both...” I nodded in response. 

“Who told him?” 

“Tom. He went out yesterday and told him which I didn't know til he got back.” 

“How did it go for him?” I told her exactly what Tom told me the previous night. 

“He didn't hit him?” She sounded relieved. 

“No, Ben just shoved him a couple of times, thank the heavens.” 

“And how are you looking?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Any missed periods?” 

“Well I'm due today.” 

“Let me know when it comes, if it does.” 

“It will, it always does so don't be getting excited.” There was a pause and I turned to look out the window. 

“Jodie, what's that?” 

“What's what?” 

“On your neck.” I realised my hair had moved when I turned my head. I hurriedly adjusted my hair back to how it was. 

“It's nothing.” I said quickly. 

“I'm not stupid Jodie, it's a love bite isn’t it?” I didn't reply. 

“Oh my God he gave you a love bite, let me see it.” 

“I worry about you sometimes.” I rolled my eyes and pushed my hair back. Holly leaned closer for a better look. 

“That’s huge and purple!” A couple of heads turned our way. 

“Will you be quiet? And yes I know I could kill him.” 

“Sorry I got excited.” She said a little quieter. 

“When did he do that?” The curiosity inside Holly had been ignited. 

“Last night when he went full Jonathan Pine on me.” 

“He had you against the wall? Damn Tom.” She giggled. 

“What I'd give for a night with him.” She sighed happily. 

“You don't need to tell me, I already know.” She had already told me she would sell her soul to the devil. 

When I got back, Tom was busy working away. I sat myself beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. 

“What are you working on?” 

“Just annotating a new script.” He drew himself away from the script and looked me in the eyes. I have no idea what came over me but I found myself placing a deep kiss on Tom's lips. 

“Easy tiger.” He chuckled. “Did you and Holly have a good time?” 

“We did thanks. Actually that reminds me, I'm gonna kill you Hiddleston.” 

“Whatever have I done, darling?” Ah, his charm is wonderful. 

“She saw the love bite and about half the café knew.” 

“How on Earth did you manage to notify so many people of a love bite?” Tom was laughing now, holding onto his stomach. I have no idea why he finds it so hilarious. 

“Holly. She decided to yell about how large and purple it was.” 

“I suppose she asked when it got there?” He was still laughing. 

“Yup so I told her you went full Jonathan Pine on me. She was impressed.” Tom had stopped laughing now and was gazing at me. 

He leaned closer and his voice was lower. 

“Was she now?” 

“She was.” 

“What about you?” His voice was almost a growl. 

“Most definitely.” 

“I'm glad.” Tom dropped the sexy act and became all smiley again. 

“So, what did you get up to?” 

“Nothing much. Just annotated this script and did a spot of cleaning. I washed some of your stuff for you.” 

“Aw you didn't have to do that.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“Gave me something to do. Besides, I don't mind. It's all folded back into your bag for you.” 

“Thank you Tom.” 

“No worries. I'm supposed to be looking after you so that's exactly what I’m doing.” He smiled.


	24. Chapter 24

I rolled over the next morning to find Tom missing from the bed and a note on the pillow in his place. I took it in my hands and read the note was in Tom's beautiful handwriting. 

‘Good morning darling, Sorry about not been there for when you wake up. I’ve gone to pick up a new car and then I have an interview and I'm dropping in at my agents office after that. I should be home around dinner time so don't feel obliged to stay in Lots of love, Tommy H x P.s. There’s a little something on the back of this paper.’ 

I found myself chuckling at ‘Tommy H'. It's rather cute I may have to adopt that into my list of nicknames for him. After turning over the piece of paper, I found a sonnet he had wrote for me. It's one of Shakespeare's I think. It's impressive how he recites these from memory. Although, he does love Shakespeare. The thought of Tom taking time out of his day to write me a sonnet made me emotional. It's made me realise even more how much he cares about me. 

Now I just have to think of something to fill my day. I elected to do a full apartment clean for him and then head out to buy groceries. He said not to feel obliged to stay in but it's the least I could do after everything he's done for me. 

I dressed in a casual t-shirt and a pair of leggings, tied my hair up, ate a quick breakfast and got to work. I noticed my love bite was small now, but still noticeable. I covered it up in preparation for my trip to the supermarket. I then started work in the living room, dusting his bookshelves, wiping his coffee table, washed the cushion covers and then dusted and neatened the TV stand. I continued around the whole apartment. I even changed the bedding and washed the curtains. It was quite entertaining, cleaning the place with music in the background. Tom was a tidy person anyway but this was a deep clean, not just a little tidy here and there. 

After sticking a final load of clothes in the washing machine I headed out to buy some groceries. I stocked up on basic things like milk and bread, bought some ingredients for a few meals and even grabbed some treats. I had gotten to the drinks isle to get some wine when I bumped into a familiar face.... 

I“Ben hi.” I smiled weakly. I had no idea how he would react to seeing me as it's the first time since Tom had told him about us. 

“Hello.” He muttered. 

“How are things going?” I thought it best to be civil. 

“They're okay.” He took a pause. 

“No Tom?” 

“He's out so I'm just doing some shopping.” I was trying to be nice, makes things easier. 

“Jodie, look-" 

“I know you know, Ben.” I spoke quickly as I was worried about what he was about to say. 

“Yes well about that. I'd just like you to let Tom know that I'm sorry about the other day. He's my best friend I shouldn't have treated him that way.” 

“I understand it hurt you. I'll let him know and I'm sure all is forgiven it is Tom after all.” I laughed. 

“The way he looks at you, I know he cares about you. He always has. So, I wish you luck together.” He smiled. I was shocked at how quickly the subject had changed and what it had changed to. 

“Wait you're saying?” Was all I could manage. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 

“I'm saying he could give you more than I ever could. He can make you happier then I did and he would never hurt you like I did.” I didn't know what to say. Was Ben letting me go so I could be with Tom? I never thought I would ever hear those words from Ben's lips. 

“Do you need anymore stuff?” 

“Yeah.” I replied. 

“Well come to mine tomorrow if you like? Pick up some things.” 

“Sure. I'll see you around then.” 

“Yeah see you tomorrow.” 

He went on and carried on with his shopping and I was still confused at what I'd just heard. Part of me was slightly relieved as my feelings for Tom are constantly growing and I wasn't sure what I would do about Benedict. Another part of me was slightly hurt that he was willing to let me go so quickly even though he apparently loves me and I still love him even though he hurt me. 

The rest of me is confused to why he's let me go so quickly. I know he said it’s because Tom could make me happier but is that the true reason? Has he maybe met someone else in the time we've been apart? I was experiencing so many different emotions at once and I was becoming so confused after everything that has just gone on. I shook my head, trying to forget it all for the time being and went to pay for my shop.


	25. Chapter 25

It’s been a few weeks since I had been to Ben's. That was also the week I was due on my period. It never came. I'd messaged Holly to meet up but for the first time she couldn't make it so I was on my own. I was currently sat in the bathroom waiting for the result from the pregnancy test. Tom had gone out so it was the perfect opportunity. I hadn't told him yet for a few reasons. I didn't want to get his hopes up after little Gracie and we also weren't together yet. Although, I've come to the decision I want to be with him, I'm just yet to tell him. After seen Ben's reaction to me moving out, it sealed the deal for me. 

I took a deep breath in as I prepared myself to see the results. Looking down and slowly opening my eyes, I prepared myself for the potential life changing news and there it was. 

Positive. 

Most of me was relieved that I was able to conceive again after so long and that I'd be able to give Tom a child. There was a small part of me, however, that was worried about his reaction. Is he ready for children? Does he even want them? Does he want to wait until we're in a relationship? My thoughts were interrupted by: 

“Hey, I'm home!” I headed into the living room to greet Tom. He knew I'd been unwell but he thinks it's just a bug. I'm surprised he doesn't know, over these past few weeks I'd declined alcohol, been extremely tired and grumpy and declined sex. I felt bad for him having to put up with me but he took it on the chin and didn't seem to mind. 

“Feeling any better?” He asked. 

“A little. Look, Tom there's something I've been meaning to ask.” Now was a good time as any to tell him how I feel. 

“Go ahead.” He nodded toward the sofa and I took his hand in mine once we sat down. 

“Okay, well, every moment I've spent with you these past few weeks it's made me realise how I truly see you. You're more than a friend. Much, much more. You've been nothing but kind and sweet to me since I met you and it's made me realise you're the man I'm in love with. Not Ben. It should have been you from the start. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll happily be yours if you will have me?” 

“Of course I will, I never thought you'd ask.” Tom beamed and happy tears escaped his eyes. Big softie. 

“I love you.” I whispered. 

“I love you too.” Tom hugged me tight. 

Later that evening, I was reading and annotating the script Tom gave me in preparation for my audition. The sound of my phone ringing startled me as I was so focused on what I was doing. 

“Hi Holly, is everything alright?” It was odd for her to phone so late which meant something was wrong. It was also odd after not hearing any thing from her for weeks. 

“No, no not really. Is it okay if I come see you?” I covered the speaker and turned to Tom who was already paying full attention to the conversation. 

“Is she alright?” He asked in a caring manner. 

“No, is she okay to come over?” 

“Of course.” I uncovered the speaker again. 

“Yeah come over.” 

“Thank you. I'll be there in half an hour or so.” 

“Okay see you later.” I knew I couldn't abandon Holly as she was there for me whenever I needed her. Like when I lost my baby. Apart from recently but now seen how upset she is it makes sense. 

Sure enough, half an hour later Holly was here. I was in my pyjamas but I didn't care. I opened the door to a crying Holly. 

“Hey, it's okay come in.” I smiled gently. Tom came over immediately and hugged her tight. I'd seen her upset a few times but nothing like this. 

“We will make sure everything is okay, whatever it is. Would you like a drink of anything?” Tom offered kindly whilst holding her close. 

“Tea please.” 

“Alright, you go get yourself comfortable with Jodie and I'll bring it in.” He let her go and headed for the kitchen. It's wonderful how sweet and caring Tom is. I lead Holly to the sofa and placed an arm around her, offering her tissues with my free arm. She had calmed down a little when Tom brought the tea. 

“Here we are. I'll leave you two to chat but I'm in my bedroom if you need me.” 

“Thanks Tom.” Holly smiled weakly. 

“No need to thank me you're a friend and I care deeply for my friends.” With that, he left us to chat privately. I looked at the Holly in front of me, so different from the one I know. Her sleek, straight blonde hair dishevelled, her neat and tidy make up running down her face. 

“What's the matter?” I asked softly. 

“I should have told you a while ago, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for abandoning you when you needed me. I’ve been a shit friend.” She sighed. 

“It's okay that doesn't matter. Now tell me what's going on with you.”


	26. Chapter 26

“Well a few weeks ago I met a guy.” 

“Oh, that's nice.” I smiled. 

“It's complicated.” 

“Okay?” 

“He dated someone I know and I know it's wrong as it's going behind my friend's back but I really like him and I don't know what to do.” 

“I'm sure your friend would understand. I know it's her ex but if you like him I'm sure she could see past it. It's not the best thing to do but I can't really say much.” I laughed. 

“The guilt of what I’m doing is killing me.” 

“I know but if he makes you happy.” 

“He does but I want to get to know him more rather than just sleeping with him.” 

“So it's just sex, nothing else?” 

“Yeah, but I want more.” 

“Speak to him, tell him how you really feel.” I encouraged. 

“Really?” 

“Yes and if he only wants you for an affair then get rid of him, he's trash." 

“Thank you.” She smiled. 

“No need, it's why I'm here.” I hugged her tight. 

“How are you doing? Are you okay? I know you had a situation.” 

“I'm fine don't worry.” I thought about the life growing in my stomach. Everything was fine sort of, I'm dating Tom. I just hope his reaction to my pregnancy is a good one. 

“Now, why don't we bring Tom back in here, he will definitely cheer you up.” 

“Sure.” She giggled. 

“Tom!” I called. I heard footsteps and then he was soon back in the room. 

“Everything okay?” We both looked at Holly. 

“Everything's okay.” She smiled. 

“Why don't we tell her the good news Tom?” I knew that Tom is still to receive news of his own. Whether he sees it as bad or good, I'll find out soon enough. 

“Good idea.” He beamed and joined us on the large black sofa. 

“What news? Have I missed something?” Holly looked at us both confused. 

“Well Tom and I are dating.” I couldn't contain my happiness. Those words were able to leave my lips at last. 

“Oh my God! Since when?” Holly was back to her old excited self. 

“Since a few hours ago.” Tom chuckled. 

“She finally asked me.” He smiled. 

“Aw, I'm so glad you guys got together. This is amazing.” 

“It is isn’t it?” Tom added. 

“I think it’s time for a glass of wine to celebrate!” Unfortunately, I couldn't join them. 

“You two go ahead, I'll pass.” I said. 

“How come?” Asked Holly. 

“She hasn't been too well recently, my poor girl. Throwing up and refusing alcohol. Then there's her moods.” Tom laughed. 

“I'm kidding.” Holly looked at me for a while as if trying to figure out what I was hiding. 

“Well, I'm feeling a little better but don't want to risk it yet.” I smiled. Tom came back with a bottle of red, two glasses and some Coca-Cola for me. I knew it wouldn't be  too long before Holly figured something out. Maybe I should tell them both together. But then if Tom sees it as bad, I don't want an argument in front of Holly, not like Tom and I have ever argued but it could change. 

We all had a great time chatting, laughing and cheering Holly up. We managed to bribe Tom into dancing which is always great to witness. Unfortunately, my sore boobs and tiredness were trying to put an end to my good mood but I wasn't going to allow that. 

“So what's your plans for Christmas this year Tom?” Asked Holly. It was the beginning of December but with everything going on I hadn’t noticed. All I knew is that the weather was very cold. 

“I'm hoping to take this one to meet my parents.” I had no idea so this was a happy surprise. 

“Aw, that's wonderful.” 

“Don't worry we will still see each other like we do every Christmas.” I said to Holly. It's tradition we spend it together every year. Holly smiled at my words. Before we knew it, the time had almost hit midnight. 

“Holly, you can stay here if you like. You can't drive home and it's really late to be catching a cab.” Said Tom. 

“Thanks." She smiled. 

“The guest room is next to our room.” 

“I'll give you some of my stuff to wear.” I added. 

“You two aren't gonna keep me up all night are you?” I nearly choked on my tea and Tom was silently shocked. This is what happens when you're not close enough to nudge Holly Burton. 

“Don't worry about that Holly, she hasn't let me screw her for ages. 

Oh no. This is embarrassing. I mean, I'm glad he's playing along but dear Lord! 

“How could you refuse this man, Jodie?” Holly laughed. If I thought it couldn't get worse I was wrong. 

“Okaaayyy. I'm going to bed.” I rolled my eyes and got up to leave. I was about to walk out of the room when Holly's next words halted me in my tracks. 

“Is there something you're not telling us Jodie?” She laughed but I knew she was been serious. I also knew she would click on eventually. Here goes. I turned around slowly to face my best friend and the father of my baby. 

“Yes there is.” Holly seemed proud of her Sherlock skills as she always does with these sorts of things. Meanwhile, Tom was slightly surprised. He will be even more so in a moment. 

“So?” Pressed Holly. 

I took a deep breath. “Tom.” 

“Yes?” 

“You're going to be a daddy.”


	27. Chapter 27

There was a deathly silence as the news sunk in for them both. 

“You’re pregnant?” Tom spoke at last. I nodded my head in reply. Here's to hoping he doesn't flip out. He rose to his feet, came towards me and pulled me into a hug. 

“That's the most wonderful news! How long have you known?" 

“I found out earlier today before I asked about dating you.” I smiled up at Tom, my partner and the father of my baby. Both things I never thought would happen. 

“Do you know how far?” 

“About a month, I think.” He planted a big kiss on my lips. 

“I love you so much this is brilliant.” Tom hugged me again and ‘ouch' escaped me. 

“Sorry, are you okay?” 

“Yeah just mind the boobs, they're sore.” 

“Sounds dreadful.” 

“It is.” I rolled my eyes jokingly. 

As soon as Tom stopped hugging and kissing me, Holly was straight over, giving her share of cuddles. 

“Congratulations both of you! I'm so happy for you both.” 

“Thank you.” I smiled. As she was hugging Tom and they were chatting I had a moment to myself to think. As happy as I was to know I was able to conceive, I couldn't help but think of Gracie and how much I still miss her. A fraction of me was worried I may not carry this one the whole way either and that would mean grieving again and breaking Tom's heart. I can't do that again, I’m not mentally strong enough. My emotions were running high at the thought of Gracie and I could feel myself about to cry. 

“Excuse me for a moment.” I hurried off into the bedroom quickly and attempted to calm myself down. 

“Are you alright?” Tom's voice came from behind me. 

“I just got a bit upset about Gracie, that's all.” A sorrowful look washed across Tom's face. 

“I understand how hard this must be for you and how anxious you must be about this pregnancy but no matter what happens, I promise I'll always be here for you and our baby.” He pulled me towards him and I sobbed into his shoulder. 

“What if I don't carry this one the whole way either? I can't face that again Tom. It's too much. It'll break you too and I can't do that, not to you.” 

“Don't say that, last time was just one of those unfortunate things. You'll carry this one the complete way through.” 

“How do you know?” I looked up and Tom's deep blue pools gazed at me. 

“Because I believe in you. You're very strong and so is our baby, it has you for a mother.” 

“I love you.” I whispered before kissing his cheek. 

“I love you too.” He pressed a gentle kiss on my lips, cupping my chin and wrapping his other arm around me. 

“Is everything alright?” Holly's voice startled Tom and I and we jumped away from each other like two teenagers caught by our parents. 

“Yeah I'm fine.” I said happily. 

“Okay, I was going to check in but Tom got here first cause of his longer legs.” She laughed. 

“Yeah he's tall, sometimes a little too tall for me.” 

“I am here you know.” Tom interrupted. I love moments like this, where the three of us joke around together. 

“We're only teasing dear.” I grinned at him. 

“I'll tickle you.” He responded. 

“No!” I exclaimed. 

“Stop teasing me then. I can't help that the two of you are so small.” 

“Hey!” Holly folded her arms. She was stood in front of us both now. 

“We're not small it’s just the fact that you're an oversized human.” I nudged him. 

“As I've said before, gotta bring it as a God.” 

“Anyhoo, I'm going to head to bed.” Announced Holly. 

“Goodnight.” I replied. 

“Sleep well.” Added Tom. I handed her some of my pyjamas as we are a similar size and she shuffled off. 

“I'm exhausted.” I sighed, laying on the bed. 

“My poor girl. Get some sleep.” Whispered Tom. He laid beside me and stroked my arm gently. I closed my eyes, allowing me to focus on his touch. It was soothing and soft and helped me drift off to sleep. Just before I fell asleep, Tom kissed my cheek, leaned in my ear and said: 

“Goodnight my love.”


	28. Chapter 28

The following afternoon, I was on my way to Benedict's to collect the last of my stuff and return the spare key. Handing him it back would finalise everything for us. 

Ben answered the in the same positive mood as he did last time. 

“Hey nice to see you.” He smiled widely. 

“Hiya, just come to collect the last few bits.” 

“Okay, come in.” I entered what used to be my old bedroom and started to gather the rest of my clothes. “So, er, how are you and Tom?” 

“We're in a relationship as of yesterday so we're good thank you.” It was then it crossed my mind whether I should tell him I'm carrying his best friend's baby or not. 

“That's lovely, congratulations.” If Ben was hurt by the news, it certainly didn't show. 

“Thanks again. You heard from him recently?” 

“Yeah he text me the day I saw you at the supermarket.” 

“Good to know you're both alright again.” I smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks for passing my message along.” 

“No worries.” There was a silence between us. I suppose now is the best time to tell him. 

“Ben, there's something I'd like to tell you if that's okay?” I decided I would lay it down gently to him. Of course I'm anxious of his reaction due to our past but I was going to be civil. 

“Of course it is.” His smile he gave felt like an effort to encourage me. 

“Well, Tom and I are expecting a baby.” There was a silence as the news sank in for him. 

“Oh, well I'm very happy for you both.” I could see he was a little shocked so I attempted to ease his tension. 

“We would like you to be a part of the baby's life. It feels right as you and Tom are the closest of friends so we wouldn't want you to miss this opportunity because of previous issues which are all forgotten.” 

“That's very kind of you both, after everything and of course I would absolutely love to be a part of it's life and I appreciate that greatly so thank you.” 

“There's no need to thank me. You're still my friend and Tom's so I can’t see anything wrong with it.” The next thing I knew, Ben was pulling me into a hug. 

“I knew you could do it.” I heard him say softly. It took me a moment but I figured out what he meant. He knew I thought I couldn't conceive and here I am so of course it's a big deal for the two of us, even if it's not his baby. 

“I'm very, very happy for you, Jodie. Congratulations and I wish you both all the best and hope for a healthy baby.” 

“Thank you.” His words were very touching to hear and I could feel the tears welling up but I withheld from that. 

“Let's finish your packing anyway. Poor Tom will be wondering where you got to.” Ben chuckled. He helped me finish and even loaded the car for me. 

“I will see you again at some point.” He said, pulling me into another hug. 

“Tell Tom I said congratulations about you both and the baby.” 

“You could always text him.” I laughed. 

“You're right silly me.” He was laughing now. 

“See you later.” I spoke kindly. 

“See you.” 

I'd arrived home and unpacked with help from Tom. He insisted upon it. I hadn't really spoke much about Benedict and I's earlier conversation. I knew it would be a matter of time before Tom knew as Ben was going to text him and, sure enough, the message came through during dinner. 

“Ah, Benedict's just congratulated me on us on the baby. Did you tell him whilst you were there?” 

“Yeah, hope you don't mind.” 

“It's absolutely fine.” Tom flashed the famous smile so many girls from around the world had fallen in love with. 

“I told him that we would like him to be a part of our child's life as he is your best friend.” 

“That's good of you. What did he say?” 

“He seemed rather happy and said that he would love that.” After finishing that sentence I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I had to dash to the bathroom and Tom was close behind, holding back my hair for me as I vomited into his toilet basin. 

“Ugh.” I groaned. 

“Are you okay? Is it morning sickness again?” His voice and expression were full of concern. It's one reason I love Tom so much: his care, concern and compassion for others. Especially those he holds dear. 

“Yeah and you know something? I have no idea why they call it morning sickness.” I cracked a joke in effort to lighten myself up. 

“Neither do I.” We both chuckled. 

“Water?” 

“Please.”


	29. Chapter 29

It seemed my mood took a turn for the worst through the night. The hormones and sore boobs were really putting in their best efforts to piss me off. I felt bad for Tom as he was being nothing but nice and it's not his fault. I was curled on the sofa eating the chocolate Tom went out and bought me after dinner as I had a craving. He was busy engrossed in a book and I didn’t blame him. I couldn't help but notice he looked snuggled up with a book and glasses. 

I offered him the box. “Have a piece.” 

“It's okay darling they are for you.” Damn there's my Prince Charming. 

“Fine.” I took a piece of chocolate and popped it into his mouth when he wasn't expecting it. 

“Hey!” He said with a mouth full of chocolate. 

“I offered you the easy way, I wasn't taking no for an answer. Especially since you love sweet stuff of any kind." I smiled proudly. He placed his book on the coffee table in front of us and pulled me onto his lap. I nestled into him and rested my head just below his shoulder. I had come to the conclusion that Tom's lap was one of my favourite places to be. Anywhere with Tom is my favourite place. 

“You're a stubborn one.” He grumbled. 

“It's why you love me.” I replied in a conceited manner. 

“Hmmmm.” He teased. You could see how much he enjoys moments like this. 

“What do you mean ‘hmmm?” I sat up to face him and had one leg at either side of him. He didn't reply which I knew was his way of trying to torment me. In an effort to get one up on him, I began nibbling on his ear and sucking his neck. I felt him tense as an initial reaction but his muscles soon relaxed again. 

“So, tell me.” I said between nibbles. 

“Well I love you for other things.” 

“Oh, do enlighten me.” I whispered into his ear. 

“What if I don't?” I began playing in his hair which caused him to groan as it caught him off guard. I knew he wasn't meant to let it slip as he was trying to tease me but I had the upper hand. 

“Then stuff like this will happen.” I beamed and placed a soft, gentle but deep kiss on his lips. His sigh of pleasure wasn't the only thing giving away his excitement and suddenly my mood had gone from grumpy to incredibly horny. 

“You're trouser companion betrays you.” I chuckled, mainly because of how I'd described his dick. 

“So it does.” He grinned at me. I began circling my hips on him slowly and his head leaned back before his eyes closed. 

“Looks like I win this round, Mr Hiddleston.” I whispered seductively. 

“Hm, seems so.” His voice was low, more than usual. I'd known him long enough to know what that voice meant. I found myself kissing him passionately and soon felt his tongue dancing with mine. 

“Here or the bedroom?” He asked, now his voice was deeper than I thought possible and it made every hair stand on end. 

“Here seems just fine.” I whispered against his lips. There was no spoken response from Tom, only actions. He whipped my nightdress over my head and then his t-shirt over his. 

My hands desperately explored the body I now knew so well. Slightly toned but not overly so. It’d been so long since we last had sex and we were hungry for each other. 

His touch was driving me absolutely mad and I soon pulled his dick out of his pants and lowered myself onto him slowly. A wild, almost animal like growl escaped Tom and he began pushing his hips upward towards me. 

“My God you're amazing Jodie.” Tom spoke in a voice very similar if not the same as Loki. That just made me enjoy things further. There was no noise in the room except the moans from Tom and I. 

When I felt him tensing below me I knew he was there. Tom's hips stopped moving as he came and I did everything I could to make sure it was the most intense one he had ever had. Tom's a gentleman so he didn't stop until I had my turn which didn't take much longer. 

I was soon a mess on top of him, panting his name repeatedly. When I came down from my high, I climbed of off him and he began adjusting everything back to how it was before. 

“Well, that was fun.” He grinned. 

“It was and now I'm off to bed. Sleeping with you and carrying your baby takes a lot of energy.” 

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” 

“If you want it to be.” I said, glancing over my shoulder before heading to the bedroom. 

“You know," Tom's voice entered the room. “I may as well move you in properly.” 

“Well I'm not going to decline.” I smiled. These past few weeks before we got together I'd been looking for somewhere but it hadn't been going well. It's a good job Tom was so keen to keep me here. 

“Declining simply wasn't an option.” He chuckled, tucking himself beside me. 

“I didn't think it would be.”


	30. Chapter 30

Tom and I were out for a walk the following afternoon. We wrapped up in thick coats, scarves and gloves in an effort to keep out the bitterly cold December weather. Paparazzi were photographing us together but neither of us minded. Tom's arm was around me, keeping me close to him. 

“Oh look there's Holly and Ben.” Tom said innocently. I looked over to where he was pointing and there they both were snuggled up together just like Tom and I. Both in their own little world. It was then everything fell into place. 

Why Holly was so upset, why Ben was so willing to let me go. A little part of me was hurt but the rest of me was happy for them both. I couldn't be angry because I'm dating my ex’s best friend. 

“Are you okay Jodie? You've gone ever so quiet.” Tom asked softly, pulling me away from my current train of thought. 

“I'm fine.” I smiled up at him. Tom looked between Ben and Holly and I as if he was trying to figure something out. 

“Wait, are they...?” Poor Tom doesn't have a clue. 

“Seems so.” I sighed. 

“Oh.” He responded simply. 

“It's why Holly was upset she felt like she was betraying a friend by sleeping with their ex, I encouraged her not knowing she meant that I was the friend she was referring to.” 

“They seem happy.” Neither Benedict or Holly seemed to have any idea we were there. 

“Well it's all I want for her.” 

“You sure you're okay?” Tom's voice was gentle and quiet. 

“Yeah, I can't be mad can I? I'm dating his best friend and carrying his baby.” I laughed. 

“Very true.” A smile lit up Tom's face after the mention of our baby. He was so excited to be a father which made me a little anxious if this will go all the way but whenever I feel like that, I always remind myself of Tom's belief in me and it made everything so much better. 

A few days later, I'd invited Holly for lunch I wasn’t going to be mad about her and Ben. There was no point in losing a friend over such a small thing. However, I did feel like I should tell her I knew and let her know that there would be no grudges, so when there was a pause in conversation I took the opportunity. 

“Holly?” I started. 

“Yes?” 

“I know about you and Ben.” Panic rushed over Holly's face. I could see she was about to rush to explain herself but there was no need. 

“No need to worry Holly I just want you to know I won't argue with you over it. I'm happy for you, I hope it goes well.” Now relief washed over her. 

“Thank God I thought you'd hate me! How did you know?” 

“Tom and I were out walking and he saw you both together and pointed it out then everything fell into place.” Holly nodded her head and then went back to our earlier conversation, the baby. 

“So have you booked your 12 week appointment?” 

“I'm going to do it soon.” 

“This is so exciting!” Holly squealed. 

“I know.” I turned round to the sound of the door opening to see Tom was home. 

“Here's the baby daddy.” Chuckled Holly. 

“Hello darling. Holly.” A huge smile spread across his face and then  Tom headed straight for me and planted a kiss on my lips. He then headed over to greet Holly, returning beside me afterwards. 

“Hey, how was work?” Tom was called in to do some reshoots for 'Infinity War'  before it's release date in April. 

“Good thank you. How are you Holly?” 

“I'm fine thanks for asking.” She responded happily. 

“Ben?” Tom asked. 

“He's good too. I was just saying how exciting it is that you're both having a baby.” 

“It is wonderful isn't it? I'm over the moon.” Tom beamed. 

“Oh, Jodie there's something I forgot to give you.” Holly dug around in her bag for a short while and pulled out a newspaper. It was open on an article about Tom and I. Looks like they published the pphotos they took. Tom bent slightly to look at the paper. 

“I remember when they took those. You don't mind do you?” 

“Not at all.” I replied merrily. 

“Everyone finally knows you've stolen Hiddleston's heart.” We all chuckled at Holly. 

“I’m pleased she has.” Tom responded and planted a kiss on my cheek. 

“You're so smooth.” I grinned up at him. 

“Comes naturally around you.” 

“And again!” I laughed. 

“I best be off anyway, Ben will be back soon.” Holly announced. 

“Lovely to see you both.” 

“You too darling.” Responded Tom in his usual cheerful tone. 

“See you later Holly.” I added hugging her. 

“Don't forget to book your appointment.” 

“How could I?” I grinned at her and she embraced me then Tom. Then she was gone.


	31. Chapter 31

It was now January and the morning of 12 week scan. Over Christmas, Tom took me to meet his mum Diana and his sister’s, Sarah and Emma. They were all wonderful and very welcoming and I got along with each of them. They were all happy about our baby news and promised to visit once it's born. 

I saw the new year in with Tom, Holly and Ben. We thought it right to invite Benedict since everything's okay. He and Holly are very happy together I'm pleased about that . Benedict was very keen to ask about the baby which is sweet. Harry from the café knew too. I left a while back with everything that had happened but we keep in touch. 

I'm now making breakfast for Tom and I and I found myself singing Tom's song from ‘The Pirate Fairy'. “Oh, how high we will beeee! ‘Cause the blue fairy dust surely packs a mighty wallop! Soon it will set us freeeeee! From the chains of gravity” I watched it last night and now I was singing the song from the top of my lungs, especially his solo." 

“You're singing my song.” Tom's soft voice entered the room. 

“I am, I can't get it out of my head. It's a great film how did I not know about sooner?” 

“Bless you" His gentle voice seemed at lot closer this time. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and he kissed the top of my head. 

“You're a great singer too.” I gushed. 

“Oh, stop it!” There he is being all modest. 

“I'm going to show it to the little one someday.” I turned so I was now facing him and I looked up at him, giving him a smile. His hands rested on my tummy. 

“I love it when you smile. It fills me with pure joy that you're happy. Tom spoke quietly. I couldn't help but blush. 

“I love you Tom.” I whispered. “And I love you, more than anything.” He arched down a little and his perfect lips met with mine in a gentle kiss. He pulled me towards him using my waist to deepen the kiss. He pulls away slowly and rests his forehead on mine. 

“You're so beautiful and you're going to give us a beautiful, healthy baby.” I can't help but smile at him. 

“You helped make the baby too. I hope it has your eyes. I love your eyes.” He responds with another kiss. 

“I've never been happier to help create something more than this baby. Now let's go meet her.” 

“Her?” I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Mhm.” 

“Hi! How can I help you today?” The receptionist asked sweetly. 

“We've come for our 12 week scan.” I responded. Now we were finally here I couldn't contain my excitement. I wasn't ever going to forget little Gracie of course I'll love her and hold her close to my heart for the rest of my life but I’m excited to be having another baby all the same. 

“Aw, wonderful may I take your name?” 

“Jodie Barrett.” The receptionist clicks around on her computer for a little while. 

“All sorted.” She turns to Tom, “I assume you're the father sir?” 

“Tom, please and yes I am.” I always find it adorable how polite he is. 

“Okay well, please feel free to take a seat. You're name will be called shortly.” The receptionist smiles again and Tom and myself take a seat in the hospital waiting room. There were lots of other expectant mothers in here along with us. Some sat with the father and some sat alone and everyone was at various stages in their pregnancy. I felt very lucky that I was able to sit here with the father of my baby especially since it's Tom whose the dad but part of me felt sorry for those sat alone. One of the women were sat beside us and smiled. 

“How far are you?” She asked kindly. The woman had a large bump so she must be quite far on. 

“We've just come for our 12 week appointment. What about you?” I responded. 

“24 weeks. I'm Anna.” 

“Jodie and this is Tom.” Tom smiled at Anna and hugged her briefly. I don’t mind since he's a hugger. 

“Wonderful to meet you.” He spoke to her in his friendly tone. 

“You too. Are you the father?” She asked in a way where she wasn't trying to be nosey, just friendly. 

“I am.” He beamed. He always does when he talks about being a father. 

“My husband is working today and couldn't change it. He feels terrible about it.” “I bet, I'd hate to miss any appointments.” Tom replied. 

“Is it your first then, love?” Anna turns back to me. I pause for a moment thinking of Gracie and Tom gives me a sympathetic look. 

“Yes well, no I...” I stammer. Tom's gaze is still on me. I’m not looking at him but I know when he's looking at me, I can feel it. 

“I have been pregnant before but I lost her.” 

“Oh my I’m so sorry I should never have asked.” 

“It's okay.” I smile weakly. 

“Is this your first?” I return the question. 

“Our second. We have a 3 year old.” 

“Aw that’s delightful.” I smile. 

“Oh!” Exclaims Anna, she looks at Tom. “I've been trying to place where I’ve seen you. You're Tom Hiddleston aren't you?” 

“I am.” He chuckles. Anna's face lights up. 

“Would it be possible to have a photo? I know it's mad cause of where we are.” 

“Of course.” Tom replies enthusiastically. There he is being the amazing, kind celebrity everyone knows him as. It's endearing. He poses for a photo and then it's time. 

“Jodie Barrett, please!” 

“Thank you.” Says Anna, “and good luck!” We both thank her and then follow the nurse to another room, Tom takes my hand in his on the way and I find myself humming Tom's song again. He turns to look at me. 

“Ehehehehe.” His distinct chortle which you could recognise anywhere. Yet another perfect feature that belongs to the perfect man. Along with those perfect blue pools, his perfectly sharp cheekbones and jaw. His perfectly curly ginger hair. I could go on all day about all flawless he is. 

“That song really is stuck in your head.” Tom's soft voice pulls me out of my drifting thoughts. 

“It's catchy!” I fire back. He just smiles and then we are shown into the room.


	32. Chapter 32

“Hello Jodie do come in!” Says the Doctor. 

“You must be the father, what's your name?” 

“Tom Hiddleston.” He smiles at her. The Doctor was quiet for a moment, as if trying to figure out why his name sounds so familiar. 

“Of course you are!” She chuckles. Looks like she got it. 

“I'm Doctor Cook. If you'd like to lie here Jodie so we can start the scan and let you meet your baby. Tom do feel free to pull up a chair beside the bed so you can see the screen.” 

“Thank you.” I responded and Tom immediately pulled up a chair beside the bed. 

“So what will happen is I will apply some gel to your stomach. It's a little cold so just a heads up. Then, I'll move the ultrasound scanner along your stomach, this will cause a little bit of pressure but won't hurt. Then your baby will come up on this screen here.” Doctor Cook points toward the screen standing beside the bed. 

“Afterwards, we will print off the scan photos if you wish and then we will book your next appointment. Do feel free to ask any questions you may have.” A small part of me was nervous about this appointment, if our baby was okay but a combination of Tom and the doctors kindness and professionalism helped. Mainly Tom. 

“Shall we start?” She asked. Tom and I nodded and then he looked at me. 

“Are you ready to meet our baby?” He was smiling from ear to ear and he even appeared a little glassy eyed. Was I about to see Tom cry for the very first time? Of course I'm glad it's over something good. 

“I am.” I smiled back and he took my hand in his once more. Doctor Cook rubbed the gel she was talking about on my belly and then followed with the scanner. 

“There we go.” Doctor Cook says happily. “ 

There's your baby.” Both Tom and my eyes were fixed on the image before us. I couldn't quite believe it was our baby. Tom's and mine. I don’t think he could either. 

“There's our baby." Whispered Tom. Teardrops began to fall from his eyes. 

“This is unbelievable, I'm overjoyed.” He was laughing now through the happy tears. I was crying too. I was over the moon. Tom squeezed my hand lightly and smiled at me. 

“I love you.” Tom spoke softly, probably softer than I've ever heard him. 

“I love you too.” There was a beat coming from the machine which we hadn't noticed before. Of course I knew what it was, I've done this before. Tom, however, has not. 

“What's that sound?” He asks. 

“That’s your baby's heartbeat. It's very strong.” Doctor Cook replies. 

“Oh thank God!” I couldn't help but feel relieved. Tom’s blue eyes met with mine and he smiled. It was a different smile this time though. He was telling me everything is going to be okay. Doctor Cook switched the machine off. 

“Would you like some pictures from the scan?” 

“Please.” I said in reply. 

“Alright, back in a moment.” She headed out of the door and Tom embraced me. 

“Thank you.” He murmured, gazing deep into my eyes. 

“Whatever for?” I let out a slight giggle. 

“Carrying our baby.” 

“You need credit too. You help put it there.” 

“Yes but you do everything, help make it, carry it and then birth it and of course care for it. I admire women for doing that. How strong you must have to be. Especially you. After everything you've been through. Trust me, if I could carry the baby for you, I would.” 

Tears began to fall from my eyes again. This man. This man who is so pure at heart and has such a beautiful way with words and a perfect mind. He's an angel. 

“Tom, you're amazing, no one has ever said anything like that. Thank you.” 

“I mean every word.” “I know and that's what makes it so special and beautiful.” I began chuckling to myself after a moment. 

“What's so funny?” Tom wiggled his eyebrows at me. 

“You’d go through pregnancy? Like for real.” 

“Yeah, why what's funny about that?” 

“Just how much I’d love to see that if I could.” He grinned at me and then Doctor Cook enters the room. 

“Here's the envelope with your scan photos. The next time I see you will be your 20 week scan so how’s about 24th March 1pm?” 

“Sounds fabulous.” Tom and I thanked Doctor Cook and then headed home to relax.


	33. Chapter 33

When we got back I flicked through my phone's calender, entering in my appointment. 

“You'll be 37 before our next appointment. In fact you turn 37 in precisely 2 weeks. What do you want to do?” 

“Spend the day with you and the little one.” He looked up from his book, Shakespeare of course, and put a hand on my stomach. 

“I'll think of something.” I smiled. I counted a few more weeks on the calendar. 

“Hey, Tom.” 

“Mhm?” 

“You want to know the due date?” 

“Of course I do!” 

“10th of August.” 

“Wow only a few months away and we will have a little one to care for, how exciting.” Tom was ecstatic about our baby. 

“Actually talking of dates and things, we should probably discuss my schedule.” In all honesty, this is something I forgot about. Since he hadn’t been up to much whilst I was with him I never had to prepare myself to not see him often because of his schedule, but I knew it’d come eventually. 

“So I have nothing on til April which is when the ‘Infinity War' promotions start. I'll be away a lot for that and possibly abroad too. I know it'll take some getting used to since we're used to been around each other, but we will get used to it, I promise. I should be gone for a few weeks and then there's the premiere which I'd love you to come to.” 

“Wow you've thought very far ahead.” I chuckled lightly. “As for the premiere I'd love to come, you know what I'm like for Marvel.” I flashed him a goofy smile, one of the main reasons I love Marvel is because of Tom. 

“However, I'll miss you like hell.” A sigh left my lips. 

“I know. I'll miss you too, so much.” He took my hand in his and kissed it which created butterflies. I don't think I'll ever stop getting butterflies from Tom, I get them every time we kiss. Looking down at my stomach, I couldn't help noticing how tight my pyjama top was on it. I knew my clothes felt tight on me but now I realise I need maternity clothes desperately. It wasn’t a huge bump, but it was noticeable. 

“I need to go shopping, look how tight these are.” I'd thrown out most of my old maternity clothes which I felt a little guilty about since Ben spent so much but we decided it would be best. 

“I'll take you.” He stroked the back of my hand. 

“I wish you'd stop paying for everything I feel terrible.” The whole time I've been at Tom's, he’s paid for everything and it's true I do feel bad. I still have my wage from when I did ‘Hamlet’. I just wish he'd let me pay for stuff. 

“You don't need to, I don't mind.” He responded. 

“At least let me pay half?” Tom was quiet for a moment, you could see it in his face, how much he hated not been able to be his usual generous self. Then, he rolled his eyes and said: 

“Fine if you must.” I could see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. My eyes flicked to my script on his coffee table. My audition was next week and, as exhausted as I was, I should probably practice. 

“Hey, honey?” 

“Yes my darling?” Tom asked sweetly in reply. 

“I know you're really enjoying your Shakespeare, but could you help me run my lines?” He rolled his eyes again after the Shakespeare comment. 

“Of course I will. What do you need me to do?” 

“Well there's just one scene I need to nail so if you could read the male part.” I flipped the script until I found the right place. 

“Here.” I said, passing it to him. He began to read the lines and I responded with my own. Since it was a romance, it was easy to get into when Tom did it with me. It felt real. He's so wonderful to act opposite. Even though he didn't know much about the script, he put his all into it. He’d give me a cue if I forget my line. Towards the end of the scene, Tom's hands held mine as his character pleaded mine to stay. 

“Please, my sweet, don’t leave! I love you!” Tom read aloud. 

“Goodbye, my love. I love you too.” I give Tom a deep kiss and the scene is done. 

“Thanks for your help.” I smiled. 

“No problem, you were wonderful. You're going to do so well in this role.” Tom smiled back at me. 

“Aw thank you.” I planted another kiss on his lips. My next thought made me smile against them. 

“Tom?” 

“Mhm?” 

“You're not going to get jealous that I have to kiss someone but you are you?” I was trying to suppress a chuckle. 

“Of course not, I know it's not real.” 

“I really must be off to bed. I'm so tired.” A large yawn escaped me and my eyes felt heavy. 

“Okay, I'll come with you and massage your feet if you like?” He asked softly. 

“Yes please my feet are killing.” We headed off to bed, Tom sat at the foot of it and he took one foot in his large hands, massaging gently. Tom was wonderful at massages, he applied just enough pressure for it not to hurt but to do its job. Plus, it tickles a little. I found myself falling asleep as he massaged my feet and I remember, just before drifting off, Tom pulling the duvet over me and kissing me lightly on the forehead. But his words are what were the sweetest. I could feel his steady, warm breath on my neck as he leaned close to my ear. 

“Goodnight my darling, sleep well, sweet dreams and thank you for being so wonderful. For being you and thank you for the little one. I love you, now and always.” His whisper was so faint and gentle that, if he had been any further away, I wouldn't have heard him. 

“I love you too.” Was all I managed before falling asleep.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read, given kudos and commented on this story. I really appreciate it and I'm so glad you're all enjoying it and I hope you continue to. Thanks again!

The following morning, I was feeling pretty low. I don't mean a little down in the dumps, I mean feeling really miserable. About myself mainly. I was dressing myself for the day and when I reached for my clothes, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I took a pause to look at myself further, still in my underwear. Now I wish I hadn't as it made me realise how ugly I was looking recently. My was hair scraped back messily, my face make up free (due to the fact I just had no motivation) which resulted in me looking very pale. I looked exhausted and was starting to loose the figure I was once proud of. 

Then, Tom padded out of the bathroom. Looking perfect, as he always does, with a white towel wrapped around his slim waist. 

“Tom?” I sighed. 

“Yes?” He replied happily. 

“Why are you with me when I look like this?” 

“What on Earth are you talking about?” He turned to look at me, wearing a confused expression on his face. 

“You’re an absolute perfect example of a man and could have your pick of anyone. All those stunning women with figures to die for, all those gorgeous actresses you know and yet you pick me.” 

“Jodie, you're beautiful.” Tom smiled at me. But I still didn't feel like it. 

“How can you say that? My hairs a mess, my ankles are swollen, my boobs are sagging and are out of shape, I'm losing my figure, I'm so pale I look ill and the bags are so big under my eyes, I’m starting to look like a panda!” I sat defeated on the bed and Tom soon followed and sat himself beside me and bringing an arm around me. 

“Jodie, I've never loved you for just your looks. I love you for your great sense of humour, your wit, your intelligence, your absolutely brilliant talent, that beautiful soul you posses and your kindness and compassion. Despite what you say, even when you do ‘look like a panda." He made quotation marks with his hands. 

“Which is completely false, you are still beautiful, you're blossoming with pregnancy and you're doing one of the greatest things by carrying this baby. To me Jodie, you'll always be the most stunning woman I ever met.” Tom's words made me feel a little better but my hormones were not going to allow anything more than that. 

“Thank you Tom.” I turned and flashed him a grateful smile. 

“No need to thank me for telling the truth.” He said in a gentle tone. 

“Now, come here.” Tom placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head upwards to face him. His other hand pulled me toward him by the back of my neck and gave me a deep kiss. His free arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss even more. I felt his beard gently prickling my skin which always loved as it reminded me of the first time his beard ever touched my skin. My hands lost themselves in his long, beautiful curls, causing him to moan softly I soon felt Tom's tongue slip into my mouth and dance with mine. The two of us let out small moans as the excitement built between us. Tom began to slowly lower me onto my back and as he did, I pulled his towel off his waist. 

As soon as I were laid on the bed, he was on top of me. His mouth made its way from my mouth to my jaw and then to my neck. The tingling sensation of his lips on my skin increasing with each kiss. His kisses were passionate but hungry. My eyes fluttered shut as he made his way to my collarbones, sliding a hand around my back and swiftly unclasping my bra at the same time. 

Tom's hot tongue swirled around my nipples, causing me to sigh in pleasure. His hands moved to my underwear after some time, pulling them it off eagerly. But he didn't immediately go where I wanted him, instead, Tom placed tender kisses on my inner thighs. This wasn't about how bad he wanted me, it was about making me feel loved. I could tell with the way he kissed my body and what he was doing to me. After him being so close to where I needed him for so long, Tom finally slipped two of his long fingers inside me. He kissed my neck as he bent his fingers upwards to hit my spot, his thumb rolling on my clit with just the right pressure. I pulled on his curls gently, not wanting to hurt him. Tom's response was a loud groan which sent shivers down my body. Both of our moans became more frequent and Tom's arousal kept building as he continued, I’ve come to discover Tom enjoys himself when he's pleasing his partner. 

Tom slid his fingers out of me gently and rested his hips on my pelvis. He pressed his lips onto my own as he pushed himself inside me, which was followed by a wild groan from Tom. His thrusts were deep but not too hard. It was like the first time we made love, he wanted to make me feel special. He pulled my legs around him and then placed his arms beside my head. I sank one of my hands into his curls once more and the other wrapped around his gorgeous neck, which I placed light, loving kisses on. Tom knew exactly what to do to make me feel good and is always happy to do it, which is what makes him so great. 

After a few minutes, he came. His hands gripped the pillow and panted loudly as he released. He didn't stop though, he wanted to make sure I finished too, which I did soon after. Tingles consumed my whole body as I moaned his name, my toes clenched up and released when I came down from my high. Tom rolled beside me and I gazed into his eyes lovingly. 

“You made me feel so special, thank you.” I whispered. 

“That's exactly how I wanted to make you feel.” He planted a soft kiss on my forehead and pulled me close to him, my head resting on his chest. Tom looked down and flashed a smile. 

“Now quickly, go get dressed!” 

“Why what's the sudden urgency?” I was slightly confused by Tom's eagerness to get me dressed. 

“The urgency is that you, my darling, we are going out for the day and you're going to a beauty salon and then I'm going to take you shopping!” 

“Awwww Tom you don't have to do this.” 

“I do because I am going to show you how special you are.” A mixture of his huge smile, excitement and care for me cause a hug smile to form on my face and a few tears to gather in my eyes. 

“Whatever did I do to deserve you?” I asked him. 

“Jodie, you deserve the world.” He kissed me gently. 

“I have my world he's right here with me.” I said softly. Tom's whole face lit up when he heard that. It was like I'd made his day and I was happy I had. 

“I love you.” Tom replied, hugging me. 

“I love you too.” I sighed happily as I inhaled his beautiful scent and enjoyed this moment between us. I closed my eyes and buried into his chest until I was disturbed by: 

“Now, go get dressed!” 

I found a baggy jumper and a pair of jeans I could only just squeeze into, pulled on a pair of light brown ankle boots. I tied my hair into a ponytail and I was ready to go. I was about to reach for my coat, a long grey one with black buttons, when I felt Tom behind me. 

“Why don't you leave it down?” He asked. I felt his hand pull the bobble out of my hair and ruffle his hands through it. 

“There we go.” Tom smiled as I turned to look at him. He was wearing a dark blue crew neck top with jeans, grey boots and a black pea coat. 

“Ready?” He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. 

“Yep!” 

“Let's go!” Tom grabbed his car keys and then we headed out of the door.


	35. Chapter 35

Tom decided we were going shopping first. I hadn’t been this excited to go shopping for a while. It was probably the idea that I won't have to squeeze into my stuff anymore. I, well Tom, paid for an array of things. From dresses to pyjamas. However, I managed to persuade him to let me pay for a few things. I still have no idea why persuading him was so easy. I'm happy about it though. He also banned me from carrying anything but myself and the baby. 

“I can carry things you know, as long as they're not heavy.” 

“Nope, not allowing it.” Tom said simply. 

“Tom, seriously you can't carry all that alone.” “I can and I will.” I knew they'd be no budging him on the matter so I caved. 

Next he dropped me off at a salon whilst he did what he described as “arranging a few surprises.” He left my shopping in the boot. 

“Call me when you're done and I'll pick you up.” Tom said. 

“Okay, I'll see you soon. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He leaned down and gave me a light kiss. 

“Goodbye darling.” He smiled and gave me a quick hug before heading off, waving through the car window before setting off. Tom is so adorable I'm so lucky to have him. He's always so happy, kind and sweet. 

I was over the moon with my hair. I'd had my ends trimmed, layers put in and I'd had the ends dyed blonde to change things up from my usual chestnut brown locks. My hair had been curled too. Eyebrows threaded along a manicure and pedicure with my nails painted a scarlet red. My lipstick matched with them and my eyes had a light brown eyeshadow, completed with mascara and eye liner. I was feeling the best in myself than I had for a while and I had Tom to thank for it. 

“Hey honey, I'm all done.” I said to Tom over the phone. 

“Alright, I'll come pick you up, be there soon. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He hung up and I scrolled my phone whilst I waited. Nothing interesting going on, some discussing Tom's new relationship. Soon enough, Tom's black Jaguar pulled up in front of me. He climbed out and he turned to look at me, his mouth fell open. 

“You look absolutely amazing.” He couldn’t peel his eyes away. 

“I'm liking the new blonde bits, it suits you.” Tom continued. 

“I feel amazing, which you have the credit for.” I smiled at him. He had took his glasses of and was cleaning them with a small black cloth he always had in his pocket. 

“Don't be mad, you always look beautiful anyway but when you look like this... wow.” 

I chuckled a little, “you’d think you had never seen anyone so beautiful.” 

“I haven't.” His famous large smile lighting up his whole face. 

“Good answer.” I winked jokingly. 

“The right one.” He added. I pulled him towards me for a kiss. He's made me so happy. Tom's an absolutely perfect human and partner. We headed into the car and I couldn’t stop grinning as I saw some of my lipstick on him. 

“Have you left your lipstick on me?” He asked. 

“Maaybe.” I giggled. 

“Come here, I'll wipe it for you.” He leaned towards me and not having much to work with, I licked my finger, wiping it on the lipstick. I pulled a tissue from my bag and wiped away the rest the best I could. 

“That's as good as it's gonna get, I'm afraid. I'll use a make up wipe when we get home.” 

“Wiping all of your lipstick on me.” Tom rolled his eyes in good humour. I could see the smile flickering slightly. 

“Says the one that left a love bite on me.” 

“You win. This time.” He winked. 

“Whatever you say Thomas, whatever you say.” When we did get home, Tom had treated me further as on the coffee table there was a bunch of red, yellow, orange and pink roses along with a box of Ferrero Rocher. 

“Surprise!” He beamed. 

“Aw Tom, roses are my favourite and I love Ferrero's.” If I thought I couldn't get any happier, I was wrong. 

“Looks like I picked well.” 

“I love you so, so much! I wish you would stop spoiling me you’re making me feel bad.” I had Tom's gorgeous face in my hands and was planting kisses all over it, leaving a trail of lipstick behind. 

“Ehehe, I love you too but now I have even more lipstick to clean off.” 

“Sorry.” I smiled. “I'll clean it off, one second.” I headed to bedroom swiftly, grabbing the make up wipes and then returning to Tom. 

“There we go, all sorted.” 

“Thank you. Now we can get ready for dinner.” 

“You're taking me out for dinner too?” It was a little absurd how much money Tom was spending on me but I wouldn't say it as he'd only insist anyway. Of course I do appreciate it, but it is a little mad. 

“Yep. Now, go get changed my darling , reservation’s at 6.” I did as he as asked. When I walked into the room and began looking for something to wear, I'd noticed Tom had put all of my new things away. He'd left a pair of my new pyjamas folded on the bed. This guy. 

I began flicking through the various new dresses I now own and decided on a floor-length, black one with long sleeves and a round neck. It felt sooo good to be comfortable in clothing. I slipped on a pair of black pumps as it isn't good to wear heels whilst pregnant. Now I was done, I gave myself a quick once over and I walked out of the bedroom. 

“You look wonderful." Complimented Tom. He placed a hand on my growing bump and kissed my head. 

“I shouldn't be too long,” and off he went. Come to think of it, now I'm in maternity clothing, my bump was rather obvious. I’d chosen some things that hide it but this dress wasn’t one of them. If any paparazzi were out tonight, it would be most likely they'd spot me. I'm glad Tom's proud and happy to have me as his partner and mother of his baby even though I usually look pretty shit. 

Tom came out from the bedroom a few moments later looking perfect as ever. He was wearing a crisp white shirt with a cobalt blue, slim-fit suit with one button on the jacket. He finished off with a with a slim black tie and polished black shoes. The buttons that I could see on his shirt were doing their best to keep his torso in. Tom's shoulders, chest and waist were made to look slimmer by the cut of the suit and defined his body shape. It created a beautiful silhouette of his body. He was looking amazingly attractive and seeing those buttons sent a few naughty thoughts through my mind. 

“You scrub up well, very handsome. I like the colour of the suit too and the cut of it. It's good for your body shape.” I said to him. 

“Thank you darling, you look amazing yourself. That dress is nice too.” He gave me his broad smile. 

“Thanks, Tom.” I returned his smile and he pulled close to him for a hug. 

“Oh my God, you smell amazing.” I whispered. Tom smells great anyway but his aftershave he used (Armani Aud Royal) gave him an incredible scent. I loved it and couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't hold back any longer. Grabbing his shirt collar, I hungrily pulled him in for a kiss. The surprise of it caused a groan to sound from Tom's throat. He pulled away slowly with his forehead resting on mine, his breathing erratic and his chest rising and falling rapidly. 

“Where did that come from?” Tom breathed. 

“You being so handsome and smelling gorgeous, it was driving me insane.” I gave him a seductive grin whilst still holding his shirt collar. 

“Well you look rather ravishing yourself darling.” He responded in his Loki voice. That always gets me going. I leaned into his ear and purred: 

“We best go now before I tear your clothes off. I'd hate to ruin your suit.” Tom's breathing became even heavier and was quiet for a moment. 

“You can later.” Those words were growled into my ear, still in his Loki voice. Tom was struggling to control himself. As was I. 

“I can't wait.” I replied. 

“Well, we best be off then!” Tom stated enthusiastically, grabbing our jackets, taking my hand and leading us out of the door.


	36. Chapter 36

It wasn't too long a drive from Tom's Belsize Park home to the restaurant within the same area. I rested my hand on his on the way there which resulted in him turning and smiling at me. Tom's smile always makes me smile because of the pure joy and happiness that radiates from him. You can truly see how much of a happy person Tom is when he smiles. 

When we arrived, I could see, by just looking at the building, why we dressed up. There was a doorman stood outside waiting and it's not often you get that unless you are somewhere really high end. Both of our arms were linked as we headed up to the door. 

“Have a lovely evening.” The doorman said as he pushed open the door. 

“Thank you.” Tom bobbed his head, giving a quick smile before leading us inside. This really was high-class, chandeliers. Staff in shirts and bowties, or skirts and blouses for women, white table cloths draped over each table. 

We headed over to a stand where a Mâitre d was standing. 

“Good evening sir, may I take your coats?” The Mâitre d spoke with a thick Italian accent. I took off handed over my light blue leather jacket and Tom gave his pea coat. The Mâitre d returned shortly. 

“Your name, sir?” 

“Tom Hiddleston.” When I hear him say his name, or anyone say it, my heart flutters. Especially when I hear it from Tom. It reminds me of how lucky I am to be in love with such a special man and he in love with me. It makes me wonder how he reacts when he hears my name. When we look at each other, I can see in his eyes how he feels about me and it makes me so happy to have someone like Tom as a partner. He's truly amazing. When people who have met him talk about how nice and down to earth he was, I can confirm it's all true. 

“Ah, of course! Mr Hiddleston if you'd like to follow me, you too madam.” We did as he requested and I noticed that my free hand was resting on my bump. I don't know when I did it, it's as if it was an instinct. The Mâitre d pulled out a chair for me and then Tom and we sat ourselves down, I tucked my chair in as far as I could without sitting uncomfortably. Tom thanked him and then a waitress approached. I couldn't help but notice how pretty she was. Her black hair in a neat bun, her forest green and eyes and perfect figure. I felt a little envious of her but I wasn't going to let it get to me. Especially after Tom's done his best to give me such a wonderful day. 

“Good evening, what can I get you?” 

“A Tagliatelle, a Filletto de Salmone, garlic bread, glass of white wine and a lemonade please.” Tom was very friendly, smiley and sweet with the waitress. I know he's like that with everyone but I couldn't help but feel jealous. They were laughing and joking around with each other a lot yet she didn't even acknowledge I was there. She was clearly flirting with him and surely he knew. It felt like he was flirting back and because of that, I was a little irritated with Tom too. Not just the waitress. 

Our drinks were brought over and then our food a short while after. The food was absolutely divine, some of the best I'd had in a while, beside Tom's. 

“Would you like a dessert, darling?” Tom asked, dabbing his mouth with a napkin, which I found quite cute. 

“Sure.” I replied, showing him a smile. Tom looked at the dessert menu with a huge smile on his face. Of course he did, he loves dessert. 

“So many yummy puddings.” I heard him say to himself, resulting in a chuckle from me. 

“What?” Tom peered up from his menu, grinning. 

“Just you and pudding.” 

“Ehehe. What are you having?” “Probably Tiramisu.” I responded. 

“I'm gonna go for the Budina, I think.” He said, looking at the menu again. 

The waitress came back to take our dessert orders which meant I'd have to watch her give Tom flirtatious looks and joke around with her further. It was becoming intolerable. The part of the conversation that followed really irked me. 

“What's your name, darling?” Tom asked her. 

“Well, I'm Carlotta and I'm around pretty often. If you ever want to come round.... I get off at 8.” She spoke seductively and slid a napkin with her number on towards him. I was genuinley surprised and shocked she was brave enough to make such a proposition. I studied Tom for a while, trying to see how he'd respond. His face expressed surprise for a brief moment but then returned to a neutral look. Half of me was waiting to see if he'd flirt back. Tom wouldn't do that though, right? 

“If you wouldn’t mind,” I interrupted. “We would like a Tiramisu and Budina, please.” I forced myself to be as polite as I could as I wasn't going to make a scene, not here. No response from her. 

“The lady asked for pudding.” Tom had a serious tone in his voice and was shooting her a look that showed he wasn't fooling around anymore. He'd finally responded. 

“Of course.” She smiled at us both and I glared back. I said I'd be polite but it didn't mean I wouldn't give her the evils. The expression on Tom's face showed that he knew something was wrong. I wonder how long it'd be til he asks? 

We sat in silence for a while, I sipped on my lemonade whilst Tom kept looking at me. It's as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure if he should. Looks like he eventually concluded to say it. 

“Jodie, are you alright?” He asked quietly, taking my hand in his. 

“Absolutely fine.” I said simply. 

“I know that's not true, you've barely looked at me all night and you haven't smiled once since we sat down.” Tom was giving me a sincere look. We both knew I was lying. Originally, I wasn't going to let Carlotta's good looks ruin my night but after everything, I've given up on that. 

“Look, Tom, I'm not doing this here.” I pull my hand away from his and he looks a little hurt at first but then went back to the same look as before. 

“Fine.” Was all he said. Now he was pissed off too. This is probably the first time I'd seen him like this the whole time I've known him. Although, it does take a lot to anger Tom. 

Pudding arrived which was ate in silence. It was delicious too, the best Tiramisu I've had. Tom paid the bill, we collected our coats and left, all whilst not talking to each other. I wonder what he did with the napkin that had Carlotta's number? I hope he's left it on the table or threw it away. Tom and I were photographed leaving together. Anyone who saw those photos would find out I'm pregnant and they'd know we argued too. It's obvious since we're so distant. We got into his Jaguar and headed home. Tom had had a drink but was still under the limit. 

He didn't even look my way, not once. Although, he seems calmer than before, his body is less tense and his expression has relaxed. He’s just not talking to me. When we get in, I go put my pyjamas on and drop onto the sofa. Tom, however, throws his keys onto the table and sits in the kitchen. Eventually, he comes into the living room, sitting on the other end of the sofa, looking at me. 

“We should talk.” He says. 

“That would be the first time tonight.” I spat. 

“That’s what all this about? Seriously?” Any cool Tom had was now gone and I turned to look at him. I didn't break eye contact, I wanted him to know I was mad. 

“Oh, well, forgive me for being pissed of at my boyfriend who's ignored me all night to flirt with a waitress!” I was stood up now and I raised my voice at him. Tom soon followed. 

“What on Earth? I wasn't flirting with her! Where the hell have you pulled something stupid like that from?” “How is it stupid?! Anyone can see it! Laughing and joking together whilst not even acknowledging your own girlfriend. Real classy of you, Tom.” Tom's expression changed from shock to utter rage and my words caused something to snap inside him. 

“Stop being such a bloody child, Jodie! For Heaven's sake! Just because I'm having laugh with someone it doesn't mean I’m flirting! Yes, she may have flirted but I certainly did not return that so you can forget that ever happened to begin with!” 

“No but you'll stand there and let her throw herself at you without telling her to back off! Instead of telling her to stop you just let me, the mother of your baby, watch her drool over you!” 

“I was laughing it off as I didn't want to cause a scene! Would you rather me have made a big issue out of it in front of everyone and ruin the night? Although it's already ruined so maybe I should have!” Tom and I were now just shouting at each other which is some thing I'm not used to. 

“Don't you dare pin this on me! You binned me off for that bitch! Where's her number by the way?! What did you do-" 

“It's in the fucking bin!” Tom's voice boomed over mine. “I try do something nice for you but you to cheer just have to go and spoil it, don't you? Instead of talking this out or giving me a chance to apologise, you get mad at me and now look where we're at! I didn't mean to ignore you and I feel bad about it but I didn't get chance to explain that either! Now our night's ruined and we're just screaming at each other.” 

Part of me felt bad that I was yelling at him after everything he’d done for me. But I wasn't willing to cave in. Although I probably should and just apologise, I didn't. 

“Whatever, Tom.” I muttered. He didn't say anything, he just got his coat and put on his shoes. 

“Where are you going?” I asked. 

“Out. I'll come back when you've decided you're going to be an adult. I can’t talk to you when you're being like this.” 

“Tom, I-" I instantly regretted not resolving things. I should've said something sooner. 

“If you're asleep when I get back, I’ll be on the sofa.” With that he left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for not updating in so long! I kept getting side tracked

Tom had been gone for a few hours now. I hated myself for being so horrible to Tom and felt entirely responsible for the argument. He was right, I never have him chance to explain and now I’ve ruined his night. I was beginning to worry too, being out at this time for so long. I know he's a grown man but you do worry about those you love. 

_“Should I text him? He's been gone a while.”_ I thought to myself.

 _“No, he needs his space.”_

I'd elected that as soon as Tom walks through the door, I was going to apologise to him. As exhausted as was, I couldn't bear to sleep in his bed without him beside me. I also didn’t want to sleep until we'd made up. So, in order to keep myself awake, I baked him a cheesecake as one way of making it up to him. Now I was just reading book and he walked in. It was around 11 but I didn't care, I'm just happy he's home. 

“I thought you'd be asleep.” He sounded like him now, not angry like he did before. 

“I couldn't go to bed without making up with you first.” Whilst I was speaking, Tom came and sat beside me. 

“I'm so sorry, Tom.” I said quietly. 

“It's alright.” Tom replied softly. 

“No, Tom, it's not alright. I hurt you and I had absolutely no right to treat you that way. You certainly don't deserve it either. I let my jealously and insecurity get the better of me and now it's ruined your night. I knew you weren't flirting, it was all her. You've been so wonderful to me since the first day I met you and have never treated me as I have you. You've given me more than I could possibly ask for: love, happiness, a baby, a home and a wonderful day today. Yet I treat you like that. I'm sorry Tom and I mean that.” 

I began to cry because I knew I don't deserve him. All this love and kindness he gives me, I deserve none of it. Tom pulled me into an embrace, my head buried in his chest. He stroked my hair and a combination of that and his scent soothed me. It just felt good to be in his arms again. 

“It's alright, I forgive you.” Tom whispered. 

“I'm sorry too, I know how you've being feeling recently. That's why I planned today, to make you feel better. As soon as she flirted with me, I should've put a stop to it. I never intended tonight to go this way so I apologise unreservedly.” 

“It's okay it wasn't your fault.” I looked up and my eyes met with Tom's beautiful blue irises. He leaned down a little and planted a soft kiss on my lips. 

“I love you.” Tom said, his voice soft. 

“I love you too.” Then, all over a sudden, it was like a switch. Tom was gone and Loki was in his place. “As much as I forgive you, you've been naughty and you know what happens then.” Honestly, I had no idea what Tom had in store for me. This is the first time he'd shown this side to him. Sure, he did his Loki voice every so often. But nothing like this. 

“You will have to show me, Mr. Hiddleston.” I replied seductively, making sure to emphasise ‘Mr. Hiddleston’. I saw the pure lust in his eyes as soon as the words left my lips. 

“Bedroom, now.” He growled, sounding exactly like Loki. It was incredibly hot and he knew it. I followed his instruction immediately and as soon as we were in there, Tom was all over me. 

“I’ve been dying to have you since you pulled my shirt collar.” He breathed. 

“You mean like this?” I repeated what I did before, pulling him hard by the shirt collar and Tom groaned. 

“I can't wait to tear that dress off your body.” Tom pushed me against the wall, kissing me hungrily with his hands roaming my body. My hands did the same. 

“Undress me.” Tom commanded, pausing his kisses. I was happy to oblige and immediately pushed his jacket off his sculpted shoulders. I unbuttoned his shirt whilst he unfastened his trousers and soon he was down to his underwear. That came off quickly too. 

“Your turn.” He said with a gravelly tone into my ear. Tom stripped me of my dress almost desperately. 

“Kneel.” Hearing Tom say that as Loki drove me wild and I was on my knees in an instant. 

“Good girl. Now, you know what to do.” I took his large length into my mouth, sliding my hand along simultaneously. This was the first time I'd done this Tom so now was my time to make a good impression on him. It seemed to be working. Tom's head dropped backwards and his mouth fell open, letting out a large moan. 

“That’s amazing.” Tom groaned. We were soon on the bed, my hand in his hair whilst we kissed like it would be the very last time. Two of Tom's elegant, long fingers slipped into me, causing me to gasp in pleasure. He bended his fingers slightly to hit my spot with his thumb rolling over my clit. My toes clenched and I grabbed harder on his hair. 

“You like that?” He gave me a devilish smile. A nod was all I managed. 

“I asked you a question.” Tom's voice rumbled in my ear. 

“Yes.” I breathed. “Good.” He began pleasing me with his mouth whilst still having his fingers inside me. I cried out in pleasure and Tom gave me a proud look. 

“I want more of that.” I gave him what he wanted. Tom was making me feel amazing and I never knew Tom had this side to him but damn I'm glad I do now. It's so different to how we all know Tom which is what makes it so thrilling. 

“Come here.” Tom ordered. I did as he asked and he turned me around and pushed me on all fours. Then I felt him enter me from behind, resting one hand on my waist and the other on my shoulder. He went straight into hard thrusts and it was incredible. We switched positions so he was on top, my legs wrapped around him and I sucked at his Adam's apple. Then I took it a step further and bit his shoulder. Tom let out an animalistic growl so I did it again. 

“You bad, bad girl. I like it. Bite my neck.” He moaned. I bit his neck and I was rewarded with a groan. His face buried into my own neck, nibbling and occasionally biting it. I loved it, so much so I came shortly afterwards. Waves of pleasure spread through my body, creating one of the most intense orgasms I've had. I pulled on Tom's neck and bit him hard which was his last straw. 

“Oh my God!” He panted as he came. Tom's eyes were closed and his head had fallen back. He collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily. When he laid beside me, I could see his dark, lustful eyes had been replaced by his soft baby blues. Loki had slipped away and Tom was back. He stroked my cheek and grinned at me. 

“We need to do that again.” 

“Who knew Tom Hiddleston had a kinky side?” I chuckled whilst shooting him a wink, which he returned. I looked at his shoulder and felt shocked with myself. I didn’t realise I'd bitten him that hard. 

“Oh God, Tom, I've left a bite mark on you!” 

“That's quite alright, darling.” He smiled. 

“It looks like I've attacked you.” 

“I asked you to.” Tom is definitely more kinky than I ever imagined. 

“I liked it. That side of you.” I told him. 

“I'll remember that.” He gave a cheeky grin. After cleaning ourselves and dressing into our nightwear, pyjamas for me, boxers for Tom, we collapsed into bed and snuggled up to one another. 

“Tom?” I whispered. 

“Mhm?” He replied softly. 

“Thank you for today, it's been wonderful.” 

“My pleasure.” He pulled me tighter and I wrapped an arm around him and buried myself into his chest. 

“One more thing.” I started. 

“Darling?” 

“I made you a cheesecake as a way of making things up to you. Its in the fridge.” 

“You're an absolute star, you know that?” Tom responded and planted a gentle kiss on my head, causing a smile to spread across my face.


End file.
